Education ... and studying ... Masters Degrees ...

Just to up-date my readers, and perhaps inspire my readers, I am thinking of studying for an MA, a masters degree, I am choosing to study at this level again because I have already achieved a bachelour's degree with honours, and am familiar with the course requirements to achieve a masters degree. For me its the right thing to do, to be honest I feel by now I should have studied at PHD level if I had progressed with my previous MAs, however, I am now researching the various MAs to see what is involved, so far the various course content encourage me to look further into what is involved and the level of commitment I am expected to apply. I am seriously looking at the MA Law degree and the MA Literature; apparently the MA Law degree involves looking at case studies to see how the structure of law and the legal process determines the outcomes of a legal case; there is a lot of legal literature to read quickly and process quickly, all of these requirements to me sound ideal to challenge my intellectual thinking, so, i am seriously thinking along those lines, and again, I am looking to study with the Open University; there are a number of requirements I need to have in place such as computer adaptability, I will see if I can get by with my samsung tablet, studying a degree is all about preparation, its like cooking, everything has to be ready at hand and in place and ready to adapt by following directions and engaging with the process to achieve outcomes. I am also looking at the MA Literature, again, so I have some choices. I feel that in my situation, my particular circumstances I am best suited in an environment that is challenging to me intellectually and following a good course of study is a way to achieving that. I feel I cannot push my bachelors' degree any further, its like going around in circles intellectually, so I must progress, its the right thing to do. I have already made enquiries and everything is in place to proceed with an application. We all have a responsibility to educate ourselves, to be involved in education, and even if we are in work there is always time for concise study, we owe that to ourselves and those around us to engage appropriately and intellectually with our fellow human beings. So, wish me luck. Angela De Freitas

Writing advice ... cont ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University MLit., Literature, Open University, studied - MPhil., and Playwriting, Birmingham University, studied ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ A note to my readers. Please note this is a revised version of the original article. It has been a little while since I talked with you and wrote to you specifically about writing. Remember, if you are serious about writing and the writing process obviously its advisable in the first instance and I should say here on my website, Wordcraft42, that you should study a course in writing at a university such as the University of Birmingham. You will find details of their courses on line or you may telephone the university and make enquiries there. Further to that I will advise you according to my remit, my qualifications are as stated above. To continue ... Remember, if you are serious about the writing process do not under any circumstances send your writing to anybody without first discussing your writing work with the person you may decide in the end to send it to. Obviously I will be happy for you to ask me any questions you may feel it would be helpful for me to answer and I can certainly give you valuable advice based on your writing and the necessary criteria to become accomplished in the writing field. In short, please ensure you send your writing to a legitimate informed writer who is respected in the field of writing you may choose to send or write for. Importantly, remember too to write for yourself as much as for your potential appreciative readers. Keep your writing private until you find a publisher, who is again, respectable and respects you as a person and thereby, will respect your writing work by agreeing with you to publish your writing and pay you for the privilege of publishing your work. Further, I often comment on BBC news-on-line, and you too I would encourage to do the same, write a comment that is your personal view of the headline stories as published on BBC news for facebook. It is a way too of communicating critical analysis as well as a general critique that is relevant and is a good way for you to become used to the writing medium and will help you gain confidence by contributing what may be a valued and succinct point of view; i would also encourage you to be positive, being positive will open your mind to positive thinking about life in general, do not be dissuaded by anything or anyone who may challenge your thinking in any way. any trials or tribulations that may face you are not worth the sacrifice of your peace of mind, be focused about your writing and write well. Be sure and be positive. For now, good writing and good luck. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Love ... A Subject ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, DipGeog., - Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied MPhil., and Playwriting studies, Birmingham University, studied □□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□ When we are in love we become two different people - the person we are in regular terms, and the person we are when in love with another person. The regular person is single, the person we are in love is not. We are two different people. Different priorities emerge; we consider the other person first before ourselves. What does not work are other people in the relationship, that doesn't work at all and its advisable not to become involved with anyone who may be carrying other passengers, as it were, when formulating a new relationship with a person, its that person and us, ourselves, no-one else, that most certainly doesn't work in a situation where we may be In love with that person, it isn't serious if someone makes a gesture towards us to say, shall we ... when he may have others to see; and as we may be a person who is only entirely faithful to the one person we are agreeing to engage with, no other situation will do. The answer will always be, I'm sorry, but no, we shall not. To continue ... We are two different people. Different priorities emerge; we consider the other person first before ourselves. It is as though the regular person we are goes away on a holiday and should the condition of being in love continue we may only see our regular selves from time to time, and it is true to say we miss that person, but we have grown a new priority and we must attend to that new priority. In love we succumb entirely to the other person. Their comforts, their person, what they want and we serve that person entirely. Its work and it can be difficult work, and depending on the person we are, ourselves, we take those difficulties on board, but always we may look to the future, a different time when life and love with that person becomes less difficult and more fulfilling as a result of both travelling in the same direction and a willingness to stay. In the meantime we may start to miss our regular selves, little by little, the other person may display qualities and habits we may not be entirely familiar with, we may start at this point to question the validity of the other person's feelings and whether they are prepared to change those qualities and habits that perhaps can be modulated to serve the relationship we are forming with that person. If we are a nice decent person we look to qualities in each other that have a basis to fairness and an equal standing within the relationship. Incidentally, in love It is a sensible thing to do to remain as much in the present as possible, realistic to the other person's strengths and best sides. However, if we are in love we do tend to give the other person a free reign of our feelings, our thoughts, the way we live our lives - we tend to care for the other person and to try to make that person's life as comfortable and as complete and loving as possible by presenting the best of ourselves to them. We tend also to expect the same in return. When in love we don't wish to place undue pressure on those we love - or on the one person we are in love with. Love is quite a strange quantity. We expect no wrongs and we expect many rights. To continue ... If the relationship becomes sexual, well then our bodies we offer as a gift of our best feelings - misunderstandings have no room to play a part, misunderstandings through a lack of communication are upsetting and especially so if we cannot make the situation right because it is all wrong. When the other person turns to us, we never turn away - we always turn to the person we love for as long as they love us, for as long as they wish to touch us and to place their feelings to us. We never turn away from those we love unless we sense something may not be right. Otherwise we accept and we take of their love as much as allowing that person to take of our love. As the relationship continues it is important not to take each other for granted - not to take our sexual selves for granted. So long as there is love there is passion, and so long as there is passion there is love. When we finally find ourselves on our own again, we tuck away our sexual selves, we are no longer a sexual person.. Love too, our capacity for love tucks itself into a little place somewhere within our bodies, it permeates what we have become as a person after an experience of active love, sexual love, and it remains tucked away. We become, necessarily a person of practical means, practical lives, we may speak with those we have once been in love with, but passion has relinquished its hold more and more and eventually we find ourselves free of the chattels that bind us to love and sexual passion. It becomes ever more extinguished and we continue to live our lives until once again in a different time we become beholden to love once more; and so life and love goes on. If we are a person who are giving of ourselves and accept love from those who are giving to us we may experience a nice journey along the path of those feelings which may help us along. If the other person turns out to be a complicated kind of person we may journey a certain experience that is not ideal, so, Ideally, we will not fall in love with complications, ideally we fall in love with a person whose simple requirement is to be loved in return and to live our particular loving experience and this is the best love of all. Compatibility in all things love and sexual is the casket of gold in such relationships, and in the main we mostly wish for an equal quantity of ourselves and the person who has captured our attention and to have been captured by them. That for me is really all that matters when in love. Compatibility, equality, faithfulness and longevity in love too is important. Am I in love - no. I am not in a relationship, and unless we are in a relationship we cannot be in love even with a potential admirer. We can only be in love when we are in love with by another person, it has to be mutual, otherwise love becomes syncopated - unresolved - well then, we here may apply an analogy, if there is no curtain with which we may arise together we cannot make a show. If the curtain remains closed, we too remain closed, as people, as a couple, as a relationship. Essentially we need the person we may love to validate that love by being present in the relationship, and are sharing of themselves with us in a very personal sense. I have not given up on being in love, but for the moment it remains in absence. The other thing too is we cannot be in love with persistent selfishness, a withholding of love, that is criminality and cruelty beyond imagining, and those that knowingly participate in such selfishness and cruelty are lacking in all the good human qualities it is necessary to have in order to be wholesome, decent human beings, if all that falls short there is not a real love there in any case, and that too I cannot condone. Friendship is different and that is a different subject I may write about another time, although I would emphasise that love, being in love and in friendship are also ideal companions to the perfect relationship. Gold standard in my opinion. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Writer and Playwright, Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied MPhil., and Playwriting Studies, Birmingham University, studied ******************************************************************* Please note I am Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas - Writer and Playwright. My Website address is (Google) then, Wordcraft 42.

Writing advice ... advanced ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University MPhil and Playwriting Studies, Birmingham University, studied ⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙ My Website. Wordcraft 42. This Website is a writing Website. I refer you to my Introductory Page ...Writing, {Wordcraft 42} Often, I talk about writing - obviously I write about experiences, situations that have importuned upon me, which I have felt it appropriate to address. If we just return to the beginning and the first page I wrote giving readers advice about the writing format where I illustrated some ideas to get readers started into writing. Those principles through which I explained some of the processes involved in the writing medium are pertinent and conclusive. You have to start somewhere and if you are writing to be a writer, a person who expresses their views through writing then those steps that I broached with you are a way to start. Of course you may be a person with a lot to say about everything, or most things in life, in that case .... it's a case of organising your thoughts, in order to do that you need to go up a level, you need to apply a theoretic criteria to your thoughts - you can do this by including a few simple steps in your repertoire of learning criteria, for instance, by simply selecting a good book to read, please ensure when making your selection that the book you choose to read is not the type of book to distract you from your commitment and remit which is simply to read what is written and to understand the story and formulate an opinion that you can discuss afterwards about what you have learned and read about from the book you have recently acquired, or borrowed or purchased for that purpose, the purpose of reading. (I must add at this point, that you ensure you understand my clear advice which is to read appropriate content and material from reading implements that enhance your perception of the world around you through the experiences you have through reading educated text, I trust my readers are at an advanced stage of the writing process, what i mean by that is, that you are able to engage with your subject and its processes, it would help if you have studied for a degree or other higher education qualification, this way you will be in a position, educationally to understand what i am saying to you, here, in my Website, Wordcraft 42, if I ever meet any of my readers I would expect a thourough knowledge of the reading matter of the subjects i may encourage you to read and acquire a knowledge of, bom, estamos a comprender one another), to continue, by this I mean a book that will incurr your interest and keep you engaged in the process of reading, learning the details by realising all the content that is presented to you through the pages of a well written book, (also, I may add here that should you meet people, always be open to a positive application of thought about those you meet and may speak with, it is often said that we should not judge a book by its cover, i also believe we should thoroughly judge a book by its cover, by this I mean we take our naive thinking and apply it discretionarily, also let us say because obviously those bon mots may or may not be the exception to the rules because of course there are those instances whereby you meet people you instinctively like or you meet people you instinctively don't like and for very good reasons, people we meet suddenly we require to take in small doses, Investigate but not judge, or you may judge, but in stages, if you are an educated person you do not immediately write people off, what we must do is allow our subjects to declare themselves to us, through behaviour and manner and habbits and all sorts of other give-aways that may incur questions in our minds about such people, their motives, they may carry themselves in such ways as to make it immediately obvious to a perceptive mind what they're about in an instant, we realise immediately if they are up to no good, or they may declare themselves in the opposite way, again, its always best to allow your subjects to emerge from their personal story and that's the way it is) you may have questions in your mind about certain people you meet and you are absolutely right in being cautious, life and people are one or the most difficult subjects my readers and myself too will ever encounter during our lifetimes, and we absolutely must ensure those we don't trust don't take us for a ride, so I would advise my readers to not only exercise caution but ensure too you do not become involved with such cautionary tales, unless you come across them inadvertently in the pages of a book and there too you need to be selective so that when you are reading you feel safe in the knowledge that what you read is not the kind of obverse propaganda to throw you from the task you are committed to, and so it is with people, be careful) .... So there are a variety of criteria to observe with the writing process, reading good insightful books, also difficult books, your mind will unravel in consciousness or sub-consciousness when sleeping or relaxing or just doing whatever you do that is of a clean capacity, straight-laced, correct, understand ....you require a personality and character which has its own signature and perceptive memory, through everything you do and accomplish, if your life is free of obstacles which would otherwise stop you from being who you are which would make it difficult but not impossible for your mind to unravel just about anything you can think of, however, it is best that you are a good straight-forward intelligent person and value your intelligence your mind is so clear of that which is excessive it will without any preamble accommodate everything that may be difficult or may seem difficult to grasp by doing the job for you, it will unravel matter that will automatically adhere or convert to your brain cells to help your mind be selective in its criteria for intelligent and perceptive analysis in almost any field of expertise you may care to mention. So, I can't emphasise enough the importance of reading - its very important you stretch your mind and away from environments that may be lacking in most of the better qualities of human endeavour that are not endeavours in that case but are a quantitative compound of manipulative, controlling and disassociative patterns of behaviour that conclusively add to the criminal mind, let us cite, right here, in my Website, Wordcraft 42, expert analysis of people and the way they think. So, its very important to read and to observe. To stretch your thinking by reading organised text - a broadsheet newspaper. - the back pages - the political comentaries, theatre reviews, obituaries, all of the content there and some of the more pertinent news of the day which you will find on the front pages, again, look at a complicated article, by an extremely thorough writer in any part of the paper, and read the column from beginnig to end, don't practice reading one or two bits here and there to only correlate the gist of the story, or half the article, you will quickly loose the thread of what you are reading and your memory cannot properly retain incomplete information, that is not the way your mind works, if you practice poor habits, you will be your poor habits, understood ....your mind will not be able to associate half bits of information, it will disassociate itself from you and remain suspended, a quantity apart, do not take up bad habits with reference to reading or anything else you may do, you will simply emerge as a sum of your parts rather than the whole of your parts, you can only cohere your thinking if you follow the realm of the article and the way the writer takes you on that journey, that's why there is a certain order, conformities to be followed in everything you may do in life, we are organised in certain ways to understsnd and hear and see coherently, there are no exceptions to those rules, there is always a beginning, a middle and an end to everything conclusive that you read, that goes for mostly everything in life, people, books, experiences , situations from beginning through middle to end. Compre-endem ... however, a book or an article that is excessively verbose is not necessarily an appropriate book or column to read, it may be too advanced for you, you may not have acquired the language and comprehension essential for you to understand exactly what is being said, for instance, if you happen upon Ulysses, by James Joyce ......{Ullysses is a novel by Irish Writer, James Joyce. It was first serialised in parts in the American journal, The Little Review from March 1918 to December, 1920, and then published in its entirety by Sylvia Beach in February, 1922 in Paris - □reference, Google□}. you will be in the company of verbosity ad-infinitum - perhaps you could look at Dickens, Charles Dickens, it is British Victorian literature at its best, - if you find Dickens a little heavy, well, that's the nature of Victorian literature - I would in that case recommend you go straight across the spectrum and read something modern, but also illustrative of the writing process, perhaps something along the lines of Bridget Jones diary, {Bridget Jones diary, author, Helen Fielding - it is also a film, screenwriters, Helen Fielding, Andrew Davis and Richard Curtis}, it is internal dialogue in thinking as the characters are drawn out, that is the story environment, I have to own here not to have read the book, however I did catch the film when it was shown on television, it was on itv2, I watched it because it had been spoken about, with Renee Zelwegger, and a host of other actors, mainly British acting fraternity, i'm not exactly drawn to those types of texts, or films, but you may be and it will at least encourage you to read something by at least someone who can discuss expertly the fathoms of her particular experiences, London life, at that particular time, its one of those books i may read in time, in a few years as a way of seeing or analysing a historical insight into the period of those times, of a certain kind of temperament or age, the way modern girls set about or lived their lives once they have gained independence and into the world of work alongside men of the age and their experiences. You may judge or you may just be a passive interloper in other people's lives, its reading matter and it may be appropriate to you and your particular experiences., your life stories. The reason I don't need to read such stories is because my reading choices are entrenched in post-modern literature, American and British and Victorian literature. - I hardly ever look at anything of our age and times and you too can make those choices, but it starts early, I've been reading books and girls' own illustrations, cartoons of the period since i was a small girl, since I was three years of age and always wholesome literature, always, so think about that, so I hardly read anything of our age and times and that's why if you have made those specific choices it is important you keep up with a literary life in the twenty first century and specifically of our times by reading a very good broadsheet newspaper, you can keep up that way, when you can, you have to sit for a specific amount of time, hours, and dedicate your attention to reading the newspaper - the Guardian fulfills most criteria - week-day and week-end - the week-end or Saturday paper, which has a literary review which is interesting, you will there be able to read reviews of books being published currently, the writers are very good reviewers, and on Sundays there is their sister paper, the Observer. So here I am providing you with good alternatives for your reading choices and after a little while, combined with a thorough practical involvement and engagement with the writing process, you will start to emerge as a very good reader, able to engage with what is being written and a very good writer, but you have to be dedicated to writing well and to speaking well too, that's also important in helping you to understand life and people and importantly to allow you to organise your thoughts succinctly as you speak, this becomes an automatic process after much time doing exactly everything I have discussed here, in this particular analyses at the writing process apart from reading choices that are not necessarily part of my repertoire. You will in time emerge as a very good writer with something very important to say, opinions, ideas, experiences, thoughts, its all good material for the writing process for you to correlate from your point of view. Please note i have over the years read books on history and historical events, biographies, plays, books by foreign writers in translation, modern and period, also literature essential in O'Level, A'Level and MA Literature at University, and a quantity of reading courses material based on the Social Sciences, almost every modern subject you can think of in the study of a Degree BSc Honours Degree. You need to work to be able to articulate your thinking academically and intellectually. For now, Good Luck, and Good Writing. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas A point to Mr Edgar - Playwright I would be grateful if you and your assistants would work on your own writing work. Thank you.

The housewives of ... programmes ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Dip.Geog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I don't know whether you watch itv2 week-day, ten minutes past four until six o'clock, I do, sometimes, the wives, their behaviour, their's and their families' is odd beyond credibility. There are exceptions, but the reality is for inexperienced uneducated people their heads get wasted by the attention they receive from certain individuals they think is legitimate, if they have an education its elementary high school, anyone with a degree seem to be in a minority and a peculiar niche, it doesn't actually help them in dealing with basically over-grown high school kids mentality, obviously they all have their own arguments to struggle with, it's not legitimate whatever external attention they receive and doesn't actually serve their interests, they obviously don't know any better and their responses are somewhat questionnable. You would have to pay me and have my lawyer present to meet those people and to have a conversation with them I would require top bucks, at least five hundred thousand per half hour, do the maths. Okay, let's go, what do I think of their individual behaviour, not a lot. To me it's insane why anyone chooses to spend time with people they don't like or get along with, I can only imagine they make an appearance to earn the money that goes with making that appearance. You are not free if you choose to do that. They all seem to exist within this nucleus of their own family and don't seem to interact with anyone outside that immediate circle, or they have friends they treat as family and are part of that circle. It can be interesting to see their behaviour, it doesn't require analysis, occasionally there is a ray of sunshine, one or other of them utters something that is perceptive and akin to profundity, but I don't understand why they take so much cheap crap from one or the other. The arguments they have are unbelievably empty and shallow and meaningless, I don't see within the context of their immediate living environments where they are coming from with their various remarks. Bora Bora seemed like a beautiful holiday destination. I see Vicki and Brooks as a nice couple, i don't understand anyone else interfering and making inappropriate remarks to them and about them. Its unhealthy to have shouting matches with each other. The other programme, the Texas programme, I don't understand the bitchiness that goes on, individually they may have something to offer that is positive, but it's difficult to quantify all that when you see all the bad behaviour. The daughters can come across as lackadaisical ...I quite like all the women in the Texas programme, however, i did not like Kaylin's mother, what a horror show, Leslie is obviously a guardian angel in Kaylin's life and a good all round person to get her away from that trashy piece, God, she was horrendous, but when they start the low downs, whew, that Pam, she needs mouth surgery to deviate some of the pot pourie aromas that permeate and travel forth from that mouth, really, Pam, and i think that's Heidi's point too. Leave the room or get a room and air your differences there. Perhaps I will continue ... I''ll see ...

Christmas and Birthdays ... something to write about ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University, ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ We all look forward to special events in our lives, a birthday, Christmas time. I have spent many Christmas moments/years on my own, it's okay, some of my family go abroad, to Madeira, we have responsibilities, a house which must be opened, to be aired and lived in, it's a must do trip for my family. The rest of my family live a distance away, in Southport, i live in Derbyshire, they are either working or getting through the festive period quickly so they can get back to the normal routines of life. I don't wish for Christmas to get by quickly in particular, my life is a Christmas day every day if I'm truthful, my birthdays I tend to sense more because they're very personal to me and I would prefer to share them, but usually my birthdays too I spend on my own. Once you have been through a break-up in a relationship, it's a fact of life that you will inevitably just do your own thing, and that's what I do. I do my my best, but I'm being stalked and harassed by losers, the evil that can surround better lives, i'm someone who has always attracted unwelcome attention, jealousies, pettinesses from evil individuals not educated in the niceties of life. Apart from those external confluences, I choose and appreciate my own company. However, just to explore the meaning of special occasions in our lives. The reality for most or some of us is that we do look forward to special occasions. When I was younger I sometimes did not dare think about my birthday or Christmas; I was kind of shy, very shy, and didn't really want any attention that departed from the norm. I chose to look forward to occasions quietly. My friends at school would make a fuss, bring me a card, my best friend would bring me a card and a gift - wrapped by her mum - I would prefer not to have those responsibilities placed on me - receiving a gift is a responsibility, I took it all very seriously, and we are not always in a position to offer a gift in return when the occasion arose - immediately i saw my gift I was planning in my mind the gift to return to my friend or friends. It worried me, I would talk about my worries regarding gifts to my friends with mum and she would say, we will buy something nice for this friend or that friend. To be honest, I always considered my friends were very lucky and received extremely nice gifts and hospitality from me and my family, because when they visited our home we were always very welcoming to them and our table always full to them, my mum would not hear of anyone coming to see me and going hungry or without having something nice to eat, something I found peculiarly irregular in my English friends because their parents did not seem to be so demonstratively welcoming to me and their own daughters, we would often be hungry until i left and they waited tea, sometimes my friends, usually my best friend would make toast in a hurry and a cup of tea, i kind of sensed the situation and feeling the weight of the occasion i would say, are you sure its okay we have toast, and she would say, yeah, of course it is, its just you don't seem comfortable, i would somehow manage to say, in a whisper, don't be daft, my dad will be home soon, he's alright, he likes you, and what about your mum, and she would say, my mum likes you as well, i would feel a little odd with the whole thing and put it down to the English ways of life and english peculiarities of people, so, toast and tea was fine, and she would talk in whispers about her mum and dad, and she would say her dad was always going into her room to kiss her goodnight or have her on his lap for a 'cuddle', i would say, really, is that okay with you, she was a big busted girl, and she would say, yeah, and your mum, i would say, is she okay with you cuddling your dad, yeah, she would say, i was a very intuitive child and teenager as I am as an adult, i talked about those things with my mum, we felt it was odd, mum said to talk about it with my friend in a way not to make her feel uncomfortable and my friend always broached the subject with me; these experiences with my best friend or other friends would open an important channel of communication for me and my mum as I grew up and developed as a young woman about each other's relationships in family life, which I felt became important to discuss as I observed my friends' lives. As I was saying about friends and gifts, after talking about things with mum I would feel a little better, but the weight of receiving my gifts weighed upon me and worried me continually. I guess you could say I was a little bit of a worrier; but, apart from my worries, as a person growing up, i was okay. Inevitably, it's true to say, my gifts to friends were always better than the gifts I received, and, unhappilly, that has always been the case; to a point.  The gifts I received from my family and my boyfriends have always been outstanding, and if I believe the thought is special to a gift it means more than anything priceless, and that's the way it should be. My first boyfriend telling me he loved me was a gift, my second boyfriend proposing to me was a gift. My mum coming home from hospital alive and well and free of cancer was a gift, just as the news my dad had died in an accident was a terrible gift, and so on, you get the picture. All intruders, leave my website now, I don't want you here, I can assure you. My family gave me special gifts, when I was growing up, I was given a microscope from my god-son-adopted uncle, he was thirty-five years older than me and my auntie's common law husband; a typewriter from my mum; a baby blue boy doll with blue hair from my older brother which in recent times, sadly, I gave away to Oxfam, a made and created card with heartfelt poem from my little brother, from my older brother as well, and a promise between me and my little brother we would watch the same programmes on television without falling out over what, that was a big deal. We had to be friends, my little brother and I because we spent so much of our spare time together; my friends loved him, his curls, they loved touching his golden curls and they would say, oh, come on, Ange, bring Virgilio, if we were going somewhere - we would look at each other, his impish little smile, and I would say, okay - but we all have to look after him, not just me - agreed. And so it went. My older brother I hardly saw because he worked, or he was at college, or, a lot of the time, with his girlfriend of the moment; and he had one or two of those. They were always revelations to me, not really what I would consider at home kind of girls, they were perfectly happy to cozy up with my brother in his room upstairs while the family were downstairs, that to me was a big no, no, that to me said it all, not my kind of girls, lets say, I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, they were as different from me as it was possible to be and I didn't think they were the kind of girls who would make my brother happy, they only lived for the moment and i felt they didn't see my brother in terms of the long term, so for me, I did not have any respect for them; respect for me, my mum, yes, if they had observed that, then okay we could have overlooked their less than desirable qualities, but no respect or consideration to me or my mum in that way spelt the end of them with my brother, not because of anything we said, we wanted my brother to be happy, but he got hurt a few times and we were not surprised with that. I considered them in the main, older, more sophisticated; worldly somehow, which to me meant careless and out for what they could get from my brother, I wasn't really friends with them, nor they with me, they were okay with me, they liked me, but they knew we were as different from one and the other as it was possible to be. I've never regarded lax attitudes as a good recipe for anyone's girlfriend, much less a fiance or wife, no. I was different. Even my little brother as he grew up would bring girls home, they were always so precious, kind of spoilt or posh - one girlfriend I remember had a place at Cambridge University - she was ooming and auhing, didn't want to leave my brother for University she knew would change her life - her parents asked Virgilio if he would talk with her and encourage her to go to Cambridge and he did; I remember she came over to our house and I was reading Vogue and I thought, gosh, that was her, that was the kind of person I was reading about - manners and affection and love were all I asked for my brother and she had and was all that - she went to Cambridge and that was that. They kept in touch, but both their lives took different paths, and different directions. We see those changes In our lives and we learn from those experiences. I remember some of the posh girls my brothers would introduce me to, my brothers would say embarrassing things like, this is my sister, the clever one of the family - or, this is my sister, the model in our family, or this is my sister, the sensible one, or this is my sister, the posh one out of all of us - such things. When it was my turn, I would say, these are my brothers, my mum, Keith, my mum's boyfriend, everyone would be happy and there was always a happy party kind of atmosphere as they welcomed a new member to our family - my first boyfriend Simon, then my second boyfriend Kenny. To continue ... Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

A room of my own ... A life of my own ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. □□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡□□□□□□□□ I acquired a room of my own the moment I left home. I left home when I was nineteen, and attained work and got on with my life. Even though I had been in a relationship for most of my life, first of all with my family and then with my boyfriend, a steady relationship, of some years together, then with a boyfriend who became my fiance and we lived together for many years. I set off to be independent and to live on my own at age forty-two, it should be a big deal for the person who came along and caused that, a responsibility should be observed by the person i loved at the time, that's all i ask. I have always felt I was very lucky with both my boyfriends in that they both loved me respectively and never looked outside our lives to anyone else. My first boyfriend and I were together before, during and after University, during the first year my first boyfriend lived in halls of residence, where I was at home living with my family, I always felt my boyfriend was very sensible in never getting involved with anyone else, and loved me completely and solely, we spent many week-ends during that year apart, together. He started a graduate training scheme with lots of other young people and again, only our love for each other sustained us and us only. We parted, we were both devastated, after seven years together and I then lived with my second boyfriend, and he worked with a lot of other people, lots of women and men who liked him, and again, never would it have crossed my boyfriend's mind to become embroiled with anyone else. We broke up, sadly, devastation doesn't quite describe what we went through during the break up, the same devastation on both occasions, because I fell in love utterly and completely with another person, an older person and I could just not get over it. He too fell in love with me, and sadly our love never happened. Whilst he was able to move on from me, i found i could not move on from him, I'm still in love, because of him, but we are not together. Living on my own has meant making my own decisions and living through a number of difficulties which have somehow passed by and taken a little knock out of me here and there. I only started living completely on my own some eight years ago, I met another boyfriend who was in my life for some seven months, I had been on my own for just over a year before that, he liked me and persevered, we were together, then we agreed to break up, sad, and now we are friends. However, this has been the longest time I have been with no-one special in my life, some six years, a long time, i have looked to the person who could be in my life to be that special person, because I feel he perhaps may see me as special to him too, but he keeps on being away, when he should perhaps try a little more to at least speak with me again, to honour what he has been asking of me, to love him again, like i loved him before, it seemed to be what he wanted, perhaps he wants that still, i don't know, i can't know for sure, he loves me, but he is not here as he should be, with me, for him i am willing to try, i have been trying, i want to love him for him, not so much for me, if he told me he loves me I could perhaps be happy to love him for me, if he is having sex with other people, a reality, I have to be careful of that situation that knowing those realities, that those realities don't set in and hurt me, I have to be careful of that, and I'm sure he would agree that perhaps that's sensible, I could be with him, for a little while, if after a short space of time he said he was leaving me for a time, i would have to let him go and close the relationship, he has to be sure of himself and of me, but, i too am worthy of special love and i don't want to be on my own. I want to feel safe and to be with him, for him, I do find myself in love again, because he returned, in a manner of speaking, it has been a terribly upsetting time since I saw him again, but I became susceptible to him when I realized his interest in me again, oh, some time ago, 2009, to be precise, if he loves me I love him, if he doesn't love me I will stop loving him, however, i will always care about him, i want him to be a good person, which i'm sure he is and deserving of my love, and me too to be deserving of his love, if not we both will remain with only a rosy view of each other to sustain us apart from all the hurt. There have been miles and miles of hurt between us, i'm prepared to at least try, for him, for me, I'm not sure of his love, not until he tells me, I love him, and I would like him to tell me he loves me and wants me again, if that is what he wants, i'm prepared to want him back, I would rather be in love than not be in love. I would like the chance to do right by him and love him, and if he could do the right thing by me and love me, our lives might be complete, at least so long as he wished to nurture love between us. I really have no way of knowing how he feels about me, I've let go of upsetting occurrences, as best as i can, I am trying to see a way through to loving him again, I can only go so far, deep love between us can only happen again if we are together, I'm on my own, I'm not with anyone so I am free to love him more sensibly, for him, I would welcome him if he wants me and if he is genuine, then I welcome that, very much. I can only say I love him if he is here for me to tell him that, otherwise I can't tell him that. I don't wish to become involved with lots of people, I don't at this moment in time wish to be involved with anyone else, but him, to give things between us a try, i would at this moment in time continue with my life as it is, however, i am lonely, he makes me feel lonely because one moment he is saying he loves me and wants to be with me, next moment he is saying different things altogether, and its confusing, i am not standing still, i'm evolving as a person, and i'm educated, i'm prepared to give things a go between us because i know he has feelings for me which may be love, if so, i'm happy to love him if he wants me to love him, i don't want to say no, and i would love for him to have the opportunity of speaking with me so that he can get to know me, and me with him, to speak with one another, see where life takes us, I could take care of him and love him, and so long as he didn't fly off and hurt me because of some ill-imagined reason that I can't fathom, I would like to be in love, for him, only with him. I appreciate life happens because that is the nature of life, we evolve and it's important to recognize that. I live in my own flat, its quite small, but I'm comfortable here, I'm happy, I'm always happy to come home after I've been away or out somewhere, its not what i'm accustomed to in terms of size, but its fine, this is the home i've created since being in love with him then, the resultant situation, a break up, a parting of the ways, me living on my own because i loved a man once who wants to love me, i think, i can't explain his hurtful behaviour towards me, its unexplainable, however, I would love for the person I've agreed to love to spend a little time with me, here, to know how I live, where I live my life, really, I will say i love him, because he asks that of me, and I loved him unremittingly once, I can love him again, i can try, if that is what he wants from me, and I want him here, too, if that is what would make him happy. I don't want him to hurt me because i don't deserve that, and i certainly have no wish to hurt him in any way. Could we be sexual with each other, I think so, I think it's a pre-requisite to us being together as a couple. Some people may say we are not suited, but I want him to know, I love him now, and that he suits me very well, he is a human being, someone to be cherished, not be messed about with. This is my room, my life, I am in love, because of him returning to my life, and I'm here. He doesn't really know me, how can he, we have never had that crucial time together, I don't really know him as a person, it was all eyes, warmth, love, heat, truly, love, does he remember, I don't know, does he love me at all or enough to speak with me and tell me, i don't know that either, can he know me enough to trust in me, i would hope so, could i trust in him, i would hope so. Is he worthy of love, of course, of course he is worthy of love, me too, i too am worthy of love, with each other, should he be free and if that is the course of our lives, we will see, time will tell. A room of my own ... A life of my own ... Angela De Freitas

Beauty ... Love ... how to define it ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University Beauty is being in love and wishing others well. In those times when we are not in love, we can still wish others well and wait patiently for our turn. Our turn to be beautiful. If it takes a long time between being in love and being truly beautiful, well, we just have to go with the flow of life and be ourselves, if possible not allow others sometimes to upset us, deeply, so that we can remain at least part of an evolving human race whose true empathy in life is in beauty and love. In what makes us beautiful and how to attain eternal love. In absence of being in love and in a relationship we can still strive for love, we are not a closed book, we are an open book and we can forge and re-discover love with our families, our friends and new friends who may enter our lives, we should never close our minds to the potential for love, familial, in friends and romantic, and how we may find it and live it. I would in all honesty prefer to be in blissful married love, with only me and the love of my life, hello, my love, it's what I would like, ideally, so, I don't know if that situation is possible, whether it will or could happen, I just don't know, but what I do know for sure is that it is very much what I want, i want to be with someone who wants to be with me. There are lots of people in the world who are beautiful, people whose character and personality are evolved, they are extremely intelligent and supremely beautiful, and life for those people must be equally beautiful, if I was in a successful career I too would be a person of that kind of beauty, and somewhat complete; or I would be home taking care of my husband and our home, and that's the kind of beauty that I would wish for for me and for him, that we should make each other truly happy and be totally complete. However, even if we do leave home to work at a job we can still be part of a happy relationship or marriage, but it must be what we would both want, in terms of commitment and longevity in our relationship or marriage. It will help immensely if we are both compatible in every way imaginable, at this stage of my life, for me, for instance, everything must be right, I don't want half measures and I'm sure that my husband, let us say i have a husband who is beautiful and waiting in the wings, he would want full measures from me in everything and in every way. For me, a man is beautiful if he is in love with me, to see inner beauty in one's husband to be because of me is bliss beyond compare, to be loving with one another, and that's what I would wish for, bliss, for me and for him, for him to see inner beauty in me shine for him too. Even without meeting a person we know of and have fallen in love with, we know immediately we're in love for sure the moment we do meet each other, it is a very unusual dynamic, but it happens, because it has happened to me, I knew instinctively a person i met was the person for me, and when I saw him and looked into his eyes, and not only that, but the warmth in both of us communicated a very important message which said we were both in love, with each other, and I knew I was in love. I believe it must be the same for the person who once fell in love with me, that he knew instinctively he would find love in me. However, once in a life time, unexpectadly, life happens, it happens for many important reasons, to make room for change, if those changes become obverse, when for many reasons we cannot be together with a person we love deeply and comprehensively, we adapt our lives, even in horrendous pain, because i knew i had been surgically removed in half from the person i should have loved, the person i would have found my inner soul to live and breath with then, in that moment and time. When it becomes impossible to be together we go on and find our lives in a different place. Life happens, we cannot stand still, even if everything we are experiencing, the traumatic changes, for me, these changes happen and we live with such change and we evolve as people, perhaps we even become better people for those experiences, and that is life, we have to embrace change and get on with our lives. We all know that. We don't need to be geniuses to comprehend the ways of life or love, we have lived this far we can manage change. We can manage our lives and experiences and we must live in ways that lead us forward into furthering our potential for other changes with new experiences to sustain us. For me, with my husband who could be and get on with the rest of our lives. However, what if we meet someone who is unusual, different to our selves, this too can happen, where the person in our lives has other interests that involve other similar loves for him, that are important and sustaining in his life, if those situations involving other people are what make him happy and complete, then hopefully we could look at that together, so long as those other loves and involvements are clean and wholesome and sustaining experiences for either person involved we cannot seriously arrest that person's life and be unhappy with that, if something or someone would make the person we love, happy, surely then we can be open to that situation, we can accommodate such changes in our lives and proceed, if that is what he wants and wishes for to make him complete. That's it, we can't say to that person, no, your cannot live your life, we say to that person, live your life. There are many different ways we can show our love for the person we love and if seeing another person apart from our relationship or marriage is a way to do that, to acommodate change with another person or people, then we do that, we let go and get on with life. To adapt to those changes essentially we should talk about that, all of us fall in love, sometimes often, sometimes not, we can't deny that in another person, that is the reality, its whether the person we are with can accommodate those realities in us should it be our turn to love another love, if you can bear it so can I, at least try., that's all we can do for the person we love, if its love, we let go, little by little. Love ...beauty ... how to define it ... Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Life in the fast lane ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ You often hear people talk about those who live in the fast lane. What do they mean. To me it means people who can't ever relax, they must always be on the move, physically and mentally, they are never still for one moment, and they are always thinking about the next trip - the next journey on the agenda to be satisfied, when that's done they return home to take a rest before the next big adventure and so it goes on. I have never lived in any kind of fast lane or contemplated doing so. It holds no fascination for me. I like to do things. I would prefer that my life be a little more pacy, but on balance I prefer my life to anyone else's which may differ from the pace of life that I live. For those who can't be still for long, their mind jumps from from one idea to another - how can anyone contemplate a future when they are always on the move in the fast lane. Those they take along with them can't keep up. Usually you will find that in the fast lane there is the person who is in that state of mind sitting beside a person who is not in that state of mind, perhaps not on the surface, underneath, probably they like to live in the fast lane too, who can be sure. The problem is those in the fast lane are probably happiest with others who are in between the two spheres - neither too slow or in any way fast, and they become encumbered by those who are not as up to speed on life as they would like in terms of keeping up with those realities. Personally, I would not wish or choose to be challenged in that way with anyone. Its a peculiar subject to contemplate, even for a moment, as I am doing here in writing about such a thing. Life is precious, but unfortunately there are people who don't see it that way. The thought that there is only a heart beat between hospital or a morgue doesn't seem to deter them, they are irresponsible because they don't care what they may cause in terms of accidents, you have to steer clear of those types of people, for those who don't they're asking for a heap of trouble to go their way. Some people choose to go along with it telling themselves it will all soon blow over, the constant trip at speed from one place to another and choose instead to pretend ignorance of the realities of life.They sit tight and up it comes, the rear side view they forgot to look at, but accidents do happen to those who live fast and it's important to take a moment and think seriously about that. Living fast does not only refer to physical actions that lead to speed, it can mean lots of different ways in which those who succumb to living fast procure those actions. It can lead those who are into speed Into drugs and using drugs, sex on the hop, the next sexual experience, eventually those people must slow down, but not before they have attempted to satisfy their curiosity for living fast. Some of those people continue to live past their live by date and some don't, for those who do, seeing people who live at less speed can confound those who are and they can lead others astray with their live fast ideas. Those people who find themselves dragged into that type of lifestyle end up dissipated and often they may find they cannot return to their usual norm of life, they have drank too much, smoked too much, have succumbed to drugs far too often have had hard sex far too often, and can crash In a way that becomes difficult for them to return to a normal pace of life. So, you have to be careful not to become involved or embroiled in that way of life. Personally, I would not wish to become a victim of fast living. At the same time I miss being part of a duality, being with another person to be a couple with, that doesn't reflect a wish for fast living, however, the pace of life you know from living on your own changes to accommodate the other person's way of life, you can only hope that person is way past living fast so that you can enjoy a more sedate form of expression as you go through life together. If that person starts to display a wanton desire for fast living and the search of it you know you cannot really stay together for long and it would signify a parting of the ways, there is no room for that type of person in life and if you are a sensible person you will stay put, and remain apart from those types of beings in life. Personally, a person for me to be with should be comfortable in their own skin, will not continually look over his shoulder as to what else is going on out there, will be happy to modify his way of life to mine and be solely with me, with no wish or desire for anyone else, If I found I was with a person who did not fit those principles and ideals or realities there would be a parting of the ways. When I become part of another person I would wish for that person to seek a life with me and I would not want to be with a person who was with other people, that for me would signify fast living, and signify to me also their living fast ideas were not over. That would be a worry for me and going forward into my life I don't need or want relationship worries in my life. Really, ideally, at this stage of my life I would like to be married and to go through the marriage ceremony, the person I would marry would be happy and be in a position to marry me, then we could get on with our lives together. I hope to be compatible in all ways with the person I settle down with, intellectually, romantically, emotionally and sexually. If either of those essential requirements for a happy marriage are missing, then for me that would show a lack of emotional and physical support in that other person for me. I am at an age where almost any age of companion would serve my needs, I have those kinds of looks and crucially a happy young aware and sensible personality, so I'm not worried about the age of the person I may one day settle down with, he could be younger than me or he could be older than me, I would have to be in love and he in love with me to capture my ideal companion, that means being open minded and secure in oneself to reflect the same ideals and principles in another person. I could not live with anyone who might differ in any way from those ideals, if I find going forward in my life that love never happens for me, well, I'll be sad, for sure, but I am quite a confident person, my mind is full, not empty, I can be on my own, it doesn't matter to me too much, I have far too many interests to fulfill me in my life, having in the main a profoundly happy nature it means I'm never really alone, however, that's not to say I don't hope or live for love, I do, but with the right person for me in every way, and that's pretty much the way I look forward to living my life. Ideally I wish to be with someone who wants to travel with me, if I can afford it, principally to enjoy being in each other's company whilst living amidst change, to maintain equilibrium as a couple in all manner of ways outside of our home environment, that the relationship I am in can accommodate those external distractions without becoming involved in them, and with a person who will stay, no matter what, and that I will stay with, no matter what. I'm trying here to say really, I do not wish to be part of any way fastness in life, I wish to be certain in love with the person i'm with and happy to live at my pace of life. I do worry about meeting people, or a person I may like a lot and find they differ from me in every way imaginable, that for me would not be a workable solution to living happily together, I must be sure of the person i'm with and for that person to be sure of me. Change does happen, but hopefully for the best, you must evolve, you can't remain at point zero, the thing is to live in such a way as to reflect the person you are inside as on the outside and for the person you are with to appreciate your qualities, and for you to appreciate their qualities. The idea that the person you may be in love with has little love nests here, there and everywhere is not a recipe for a happy and fulfilling relationship. If they were to contemplate that in you, the person they are happily in love with, I'm sure they would find it distasteful to be with someone of that type of make up or calibre. For me it would be unacceptable to contemplate marriage or a relationship where that person plays away away from home and as often as he likes. That situation for me is unworkable and would really be the end of the affair, in a manner of speaking, marriage or relationship. You can't be fully in love with a person who might play away from home. So, in a relationship it's important to be compatible and to be happy, that way lies fulfilment. Amen. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas My wedding outfit:- A well cut trouser suit in cashmere and wool, in navy blue, or baby blue, a well cut white blouse, silk, a good pair of leather shoes with a good heal, in cream or blue, with cut patterns around the shoe, well fit but with a unique intricate design to fit my feet, a silk ribbon in white or baby blue in my hair, my hair I would like to be plaited in intricate plaits around my head, silk stockings, and garters under the trousers, white, silk underwear, white or baby blue, a matching silk purse in the same intricate design as the shoes, white or baby blue, an overcoat, long in cashmere and wool, in cream or navy or baby blue, gloves, cashmere,a coat, because I may marry in winter, my husband to be would wear, Dior, a beautifully cut suit, in cashmere and wool, navy blue, with a white or baby blue silk pin on the lapel of suit jacket, a white poplin shirt, or a white silk shirt, nice socks, cashmere, gloves, cashmere, a good pair of leather shoes in black, a long coat in cashmere and wool, in navy blue, we could marry in church, and we would leave after the wedding ceremony for our honeymoon, somewhere glorious and far, far away. These details have been with me since I was a teenager, so, hopefully will one day be true for me and the person I love and who loves me. Angela x

An appearance in court ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, DipGeog., Open University, - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. □□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□ I have recently been the victim of abuse by two neighbours who make it a habit to do that, to cause aggravation for me and other people living in this building. I live in a flat, the two troublemakers live together across the flat from mine, there is a small hallway separating my flat from theirs. I have lived in my flat since 2006, the solicitor dealing with the sale I believe from memory at the time tried to tell me there were troublesome neighbours in this building, specifically in the flat across from mine, I understood that, that they would cause trouble, however I went ahead and purchased my flat, I'm not the kind of person who allows other people to affect me in any way in life that i change the course of my life, and especially if those individuals i believe to be discriminatory types of people as they are, and so I moved to my flat to get on with my life. However, the reality of living in the building soon made clear its appearance, I found that at every opportunity the two incumbents in the opposite flat continually trying to speak to me to impose their ideas about living in this building, and what they thought I should do and a load of other complete rubbish and persistent nuisance of one kind or another and that has been the wayward pattern of their behaviour to this day. To proceed with the situation as I here declare it, a week last Friday, I was accosted and verbally abused by the female quotient of that flat in one part of the day, she saw me speaking with another neighbour and immediately she threw, a common pattern for her, a tantrum towards me using verbal abuse and abusive action, opening and slamming the door at the rear side entrance of the building in my face, I was on my way out to Buxton and reported the matter to the Police at Buxton Police station. I returned home in the afternoon to be accosted in the hallway by the two of them, her and the male quotient, where he proceeded to verbally and physically abuse me by putting his finger at my chest, I stepped away from him and he kept repeating the same abuse repeatedly, I very sensibly raised my hand at them, the two of themcwere in my face, to make him stop his provocative abuse and he stepped back very swiftly and told the female quotient to ring the Police. The Police arrived and without listening to what I had to report they removed me from my flat, this has now happened on three occasions over the years where those two wayward individuals persistently cause me aggravation then waylay me in the hallway to accost me with verbal abuse, they have also been persistently abusive towards me on other occasions which i should have reported to the Police, but didn't, i'm a very nice person and my way is to try to get on with people in life, even individuals as wayward and trouble-making as those two are. Yesterday, after the Police decided because there were two of them relating their story, and only me to report the events of what happened the situation proceeded to court. I am extremely sad about this situation as I feel I was not attended fairly by the Police in response that day who I believe chose to behave without intelligence or without any kind of rational observation or proper thought as to what happened and were in fact ignorant in how they handled the events of that day. I suffered a deep injustice, however I will cope with the procedures being placed upon me by learning from the experience and try to somehow find a way where I am not left open to any other prejudice or injustice in the future. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Writing ... for discussion in a lecture or seminar ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons, Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Hello, a few words about writing. By now you will have learnt something about the mechanism of writing by observing and reading the texts on my website, Wordcraft 42. If you have only just started to write do remember to write from your particular experience and to write in ways that bring light on the experience you are relating. If you wish to write you need to be informed of the content you are writing about sufficiently to validate yourself as a writer. If you are someone who wishes to write it is important you develop a voice so you can address issues that are important to you and for you to address. Your voice is your key, your reference point and remember that what you say will impact on those reading your writing in ways that are relevant for them to see the world as you see it. Your lived experience will determine what you have to say, you may add to your lived experiences by exploring other worlds as you are doing here, by reading from this website, and reading from texts that will inform you on a subject or topic directly relevant to what you are writing about and learning from reading those texts. In developing your voice you are in fact approaching the writing medium in a way which is informative and relates directly to your subject. You are in fact imparting information in a collaborative process, without that collaborative process you cannot adjust to your subject in a way that is engaging and your subject may lose validity as a result. The way you write is your signature so do make sure you write well and in an informed way to ensure that what you write is interpreted correctly.  When reading the texts on this website it is important you keep an open mind as you acquire knowledge of the subjects i address in discussions. Those discussions will relate directly to the subject i wish to engage with in writing. You may be studying and its important that you appreciate that what you read in this website apart from your course texts will allow you to gain knowledge of the world around you and to learn of experiences lived by other writers. When learning the process of writing from other writers it is essential you take on board that your experiences will differ a great deal from those of the writer you are reading from. Your own writing will be informed from your own learned knowledge and interpreted into a writing experience that relates to your own lives. As a writer you develop as you learn about different subject matters you may wish to address and discuss in writing. Subjects and topics that are relevant and of interest to you and others who are interested in learning from you. It's essential you develop your own writing style and this becomes possible as you acquire knowledge and learn to interpret such knowledge in ways that are interesting on a page. Writing should be something you do as a second nature to you, and in order to facilitate and articulate your voice, you should read from textual formats as you will find here, in Wordcraft 42, and other interesting books that pique your attention and that capture your imagination. If you are a writer who is older than a student and accomplished you may be writing on subjects you wish to discuss in a lecture room or seminar room and if so you need to ensure that what you have prepared and written for discussion will engage your audience in a way that captivates their attention with the subject matter you have chosen to discuss. There are many different ways to discuss matters that are relevant and of interest to you and to your audience, this can be through phonetics, writing and speaking in ways that relate to sound and pronunciation, seeing the world phonetically is different from seeing the world through perceived experience and relating phonetically learnt experience to an audience is a way to engage their attention more succinctly. When engaging with an audience it is essential that the subject matter you choose for discussion is informed with some good illustrations, examples that tell your audience that what you are saying has validity and a basis and foundation to the truth. You may interact with your audience electronically or interactively in the lecture room or seminar, this way you know you are creating an environment that fully engages your audience and invites discussion and allows you to put questions to answer in an interactive format. Whilst discussing your subject do ensure that what you are discussing is sufficiently embursed with appropriate words that pertain specifically to the subject matter in hand and that its likely to ensure maximum attention from your audience, and that you do not stop mid-way through your discussion with a volte-face which will leave your audience wondering where your discussion is taking you, and indeed whether that which you are discussing is valid and truthful. As a writer you need to be sure that the subjects you bring to the lecture room for discussion relate to matters that are of sufficient interest to you and to your audience, your audience is there to engage with you, not impassively but actively. If your subject matter is likely to be lengthy in discussion this is a point in your seminar where you may involve your audience to participate with some interesting and relevant points that add to the discusion, you may further distinguish your discussion by inviting your audience to participate with you by addressing questions that relate to the content in discussion. It is important to observe some etiquettes that relate to matters of seminars, engage your audience not in a way that becomes irrelevant which may in fact be a fudge, your audience will read this as something that does not in fact relate to the discussion and is in fact something they will see as ill-informed and not likely to engage the attention of those whose capacity is for learning valid information, and gaining important knowledge that will add to the discussion at this moment in time, and engages you fully in the moment. Do remember that what you say in a lecture room will impact directly on your audience, they are there to engage with you in a particular instance that dds value to your mutual experience. During your seminar you are likely to reach some moot points which you may wish to address directly to your audience by involving them in the discussion to the points made at that stage of your seminar. This may also be the moment you address your audience for questions and answers, and In doing that do be aware that your audience is there to engage and to participate fully with you and that the moment of truth is where your answers relate to the subject under discussion which impress your audience in a way that changes the course of their thinking. What you say may change the course of their lives so be sure that what you say relates to the way you think and is not something that is said in a way that disengages your audience from the discussion. Bringing glibness with you is not a good point to bring to a discussion in a lecture room, your audience is there to relate to you as much as you relate to them; and by this I am not inferring that you as a writer are glib only that what you say in a lecture room has validity and is relevant to the content of the lecture under discussion. During the course of the discussion your audience should be able to state an opinion which they have a right to expect your valued participation in by answering them that leaves them with no room for doubt in what you are saying. Breaking off at important points in the discussion should not be something you exercise over your audience or they may be left with the impression that you are not a person of your word, they are there to participate and to engage with you, they are not interested in moments where you may be likely to break off at an important point in the discussion and bring an impasse to bear on what you are saying as an expert in your field of vision. If the discussion becomes fraught because your topic is unpopular of course then it becomes important to break and often, to ensure rationality of thought so that you may continue with your seminar to impart your particular vision of the world through your interpretation of events which add validity to your discussion ... to be continued ... To return to what I was saying at the beginning of the page ... if your intention is to write be sure to analyse your thinking, your ideas, and commit to copy (writing), you may to begin with when you start writing find that the confluence of your words has no flow, in that instance you should edit and re-edit your writing work so that what you say is coherent. You must try to read texts that are informative and think about the arrangement of words you see on the page, re-arranging your writing so that it flows is necessary to make sense of your writing, its like topiary, like trimming a shrub, you have to trim and trim until it takes shape. Literally, you gain the practice of writing through a process of articulation, essentially you need to be articulate in your thinking and writing so that when you commit your writing to paper your writing makes sense and that its something you are happy to present to a reader as a gift, and writing that you too appreciate reading. To become a writer you must read good illustrative texts, and you should perhaps include into your reading a very good newspaper, such as The Guardian or Telegraph or similar as well as one or two fine publications, such as Elle or Vogue, or Cosmopolitan, perhaps too, Harper's Bazaar and look for the long articles, those articles you should make a point of reading, then consider what you have read and compare the way those people, the articularians live their lives, and pay close attention to the work of the writer or interviewer and how they conduct what they see and learn to the page, you should think about in writing by comparing the way you live your life and engage with the writing, remember a lot of those writers have been professionally trained to write they may have a training background in journalism, don't let that deter you if you don't have that background, remember your voice is unique and it's a question of finely tuning or honing your instrument, your voice to say something equally interesting and with a professional edge to it because you are taking the time to consider other writers' work, reading articles from other writers allows you to appreciate the practice of reading and calibrating what you read and see as very organised language, and become used to that, those experiences are full of potential and you should take note and add that to your portfolio of reading interests, reading is important. To re-iterate, you need to edit and you need to focus in order to develop a writing style that is not perfunctory, that it retains a professional edge through the correct arrangement of words on the page through the correct appreciation of language. Your language should be complete, not superfluous, don't be florid, be concise and precise. To continue ...

Misunderstandings ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University. - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. □□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□ You know when there is a situation and a person we may care about perhaps chooses to misunderstand us in some way. Is that because its easier to choose to misunderstand a person rather than be a caring person and choose not to be obverse - not to be prejudicial - I don't know, we have to be bigger than a potential prejudice, and we have to be able to cope with situations which create misunderstandings, especially when we don't fully understand the basis of a mis-understanding, or realised indeed a misunderstanding had occurred. Misunderstandings don't work between people who are trying to understand each other. Friendship means comprehending one another in a positive way, sharing a commitment, sharing thoughts, being serious about the person we are committing to, it doesn't mean offending a person we may love, it means sharing a unity of thought which is not in any way derogatory.

Unity of thoughts which are positive contribute to our well being and is a healthy way to be. We should engender feelings that contribute towards the well-being of one and another. Misunderstandings don't work. They don't work for many fundamental reasons. We can't move forward with people we would like to move forward in life with if a misunderstanding enters the framework of the relationship. We can't have a relationship founded on suspicions and unfounded misnomers, misnomers that enter a relationship create a framework that is founded instead on untruths, we owe each other the validity founded on generosity of spirit, and kindness, and especially if we are trying to establish a nice, caring and respectful foundation for each other, if we are not used to being with the person we are trying to communicate with we have to break down barriers that may lead to mis-communication. And if we haven't actually met the person we would like to have a conversation with there is a higher than slight potential for misunderstanding and especially if we are both sensitive people very much interested to know what the other person means, I speak honestly and directly, I don't circumvent around the edges to try to say something, of course it helps if in the instance of writing as a way of communicating with a person that we have good and efficient tools to work with that do not hinder us and in fact is a medium that helps us bridge the distance of time and place. That it helps us communicate efficiently and actually brings people together who need to talk. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

A Few Words about Friendship ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙ Friendship is something we either have in our lives or we don't. There are many different kinds of friendship. There is familial friendship, where we are good friends with members of our family - and remember we are entirely different people sharing a connective bond with members of our family - the times when we spend time together, when we are likely to talk and laugh together, we find that living different lives to one another and having formed connections with other people that we can share anecdotes, based on differing opinions we have with people outside of our family circle that may appear entirely alien to our immediate family environment, and quite often we may find as a family we have entirely different senses of humour which can be very rewarding in it's own way and our own conceptual view of life as we appreciate each other's company. Those times when we spend time together, when we are likely to talk and be free to smile and laugh warmly with, family that we can depend on to support us in difficult times and other times. Its actually quite revealing in that, although we may share time with family members because we choose to, in reality terms we actually spend a very little time with each other and especially when we leave home, and also because they may have other commitments to our own, or we live some distance apart. Those are the friends whose company we seek and wish for most, in an ideal world, we miss our family, our friends, people we share a common bond with. There may be instances where we as a family have separated for many different reasons and I too have experienced those kinds of separations. If we are a family who travels, and are in wider age groups, this too may impact on our lives. When we are younger and growing up in our family, those age differences are actually quite defined and profound, but in time age resolves itself and it can be about experience as with any other separation line that defines us as a family. To continue, as we become older concerns with regards to family and family friendship change, our horizons change, through the different experiences that we have and family become the people we visit and they become the people who visit us. When they do visit there is this internal dialogue that we have with ourselves about changes or differences we notice in each other, we begin to speak and we find we have become quite formal and polite, we revert to our own language, Portuguese, in mine and my family's case, to see if any barriers become easier to negotiate with our own language, and we notice the same kinds of formality there, sometimes we can break away a little where we laugh together, but usually, because life is serious we find mostly we converse seriously with one another; we are concerned with each others' welfare, our health, advise one another about important things we must observe in life, we say to each other we must assert our rights as human beings with others who may challenge our place in this life and the world around us, we relate our experiences, we feel indignified for each other, this situation is terrible, that occurrence is not on, and so on and so forth, there are sad things to relate sometimes about people outside of our lives who we care about and we share those moments with our family and include those we wish to protect with our concern. To redefine, family and family friendship are some of the most important human bonds we have and we miss our family terribly when they are absent, and we mourn our parting when it's time to leave soon.

There are other kinds of friendships of course, outside of our own families, they may be sociable friendships, people we have met during our life time that we keep in touch with, or they are occasional friends, people we see from time to time and try to include in our lives, people that we may wish to speak with and they with us and honouring that commitment. There are friendships we may form through other people we have met in our lives, whom we have been introduced to and find we get along with. There are friendships we formulate at work, and through our work, or study, school, college, university, and we try to keep in touch with, sometimes that's not possible and everyone understands that. Friendship is something that all of us or a few of us may regard with a sense of responsibility. We feel we have a responsibility towards our friends, that we may give counselling and good advice to, if sought. There are those friends who seek our company, seek our counselling, because that is the kind of friendship we may have. Friendship can be nurturing, we like people who like us, and who are like us in similar ways who we feel a certain affinity with, and the same in return, if we feel in any way betrayed by those who appear to be on friendly terms with us, we walk away. Importantly, we form lasting friendships with those we are in a relationship with, however if life happens and we can no longer be in touch, not as often as we perhaps may like, other commitments take over our lives, this too is something to mourn, the separation can be profound and affects the kind of people we are, we break away to become someone different, however, the person we become is very often a reminder of the person that we used to be, more carefree, not so burdened with the worries we may carry in a relationship. In my experience, the best friends are friends such as one's mum, a mum we have spent a lot of time with over the years conferring on things that happen in our respective lives. Sadly, its not always possible to continue our friendship with our mum or other close parent or family because they have their own lives with concerns entirely separate from us, and we stand back to live our own lives and develop our own friendships too, but we should never forget our mum, our good parent, or brothers, in my case, sometimes we find we need each other as a family and that's fine, but we too and they must live lives that we and they made for our and their selves, it can be a little bit of a tear, but so long as we don't forget each other and keep in touch, that's the main thing, it's important to have space to evolve our own respective lives, its one of those things, we can be happy as a family and friends when life is going well, and of course we are sad if life takes a little bit of a tumble, but it really is essential we pick ourselves up and get on with life, that is absolutely crucial, we must read books, and talk with friends, maintain as happy and positive a view of ourselves and the world around us, its okay, that's life, that's the way it is. To continue ... My mum has formed friendships over the years, and especially when she returns to her country of birth, Madeira. She has friends of different ages, very young people to young people to more or less people of her own age, and older. She is a person who gets along with people well. Over the years I have become more and more reserved and circumspect about friendships. I don't like people who may disappoint me in some way through unbecoming behaviour, that doesn't work for me. We can also be in a situation with people we have lived with in a relationship, when that relationship is over, it may be a romantic relationship, you move on separately into your own respective lives to formulate other relationships and friendships, one or two you may remain friends with and one or two you may not. I have lived with two people in my life, apart from my family, they were long-term relationships - and I have been involved in a romantic relationship where we have not lived together. Sometimes you remain friends because you live nearby and can maintain a friendship, because you keep in touch. Other friendships you must part with, and that can be very painful. If you are a nice person and care about your friends it hurts when major life changes come along to challenge our lives, our perspectives, our connections to one and another, other people enter the framework and we part - its okay, that's all right, its a natural progression, and we part for very important reasons, so that we too can get on with our own lives. Friendship. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Catching up ...

Angela Maria De Noriega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open Uinversity, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil, and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ It's a little while since I posted something in writing that is a departure from all that worries me that goes on on the peripheries of my life. There are other things that concern me and that is whether my family are okay, whether they are healthy and happy, to make sure I'm fine and taking care of myself - where there are difficulties we have to try to overcome those and not become burdened by them. I have two brothers, one who is younger than me, and one who is older than me - I think about them and hope they're okay. We communicate quite well with a few words, but it's only when we meet together that we can talk, have a conversation about that which goes on on the peripheries of life and which affect me in any way, and those things that affect them. I don't really discuss in detail any particular situation to them, those things I have to entrust to the Police and other people in authority who I trust and discuss any worrying situation to them. I have a mum, my mum has a long term companion, and as I have said, i live in New Mills, Derbyshire, and they all live a distance from me, an hour and a half to two hours away, in Southport, near Lancashire. The things that worry me which I have discussed here, in my website, Wordcraft 42, I discuss with the Police, they are the third authority, outside of myself and my family, who I have to relate important matters to. Mostly I discuss matters with the Police if I feel that matters are running out of hand, I would rather the situation not escalate, but unfortunately it seems to. Any particularly difficult situations I will take steps to first of all relate the situation to an appropriate authority so that that authority will take steps to see how the situation can be resolved. I am not leaving matters to chance, they have to be related to other authorities to see what can be done to try to bring a different reality and resolution to the situation. These things exercise my mind quite a bit, and i can't just not do anything, walk away or be uninvolved, I have to try to ensure there is a resolution to situations that worry me, and I will I do my best to resolve. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide ... (f) ...

A.M. De N. Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .. when it plainly is not. That's why I am then cast into peacemaker when I don't want to peacemake for idiots in your circle of business who don't have the nous to take a step back so as not to put others at a disadvantage, or, on the spot, I am not others, I am the boss, well then, be more boss like, don't leave it to me to carry your problems, which is what it is, you don't have to be there, I am there because you ask me to be there, there is no need to beat about the bush on that one, I like you being there, yours is the face, the presence of reason, in my life, other than my husband and my children. So, make that point to your circle, because I don't appreciate being run over by any of your minions, they're not my my minions, but I see what you mean, thank you, I will have to speak to them, if you feel put upon or disregarded in any way I will have words with them. The problem is none of those people that spend their time running around you are actually trained to do the job they have been given to do, they want to short-cut to what they think is the top of the pile, and only achieve creating a nuisance. They run around getting in the way of people's feet, perhaps they don't mean to, I don't know, achieve hardly anything at all and make a lot of noise about what they think they have to do which they don't like, and so it goes on.

Evening Tide ...

Well, then, well, then, indeed. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide ... (f) ...

... when it plainly is not. That's why I am then cast into peacemaker when I don't want to peacemake for idiots in your circle of business who don't have the nous to take a step back so as not to put others at a disadvantage or, on the spot, I am not others, I am the boss, well then, be more boss like, don't leave it to me to carry your problems, which is what it is, you don't have to be there, I am there because you ask me to be there, there is no need to beat about the bush on that one, I like you being there, yours is the face, the presence of reason, in my life, other than my husband and my children. So, make that point to your circle, because I don't appreciate being run over by any of your minions, they're not my minions, but I see what you mean, thank you, I will have to speak to them, if you feel put upon or disregarded in any way I will have words with them. The problem is none of those people that spend their time running around you are actually trained to do the job they have been given to do, they want to short-cut to what they think is the top of the pile, and only achieve creating a nuisance. They run around getting in the way of people's feet, perhaps, they don't mean to, they do mean to, they run around and around in circles blinding others about the fact they are purposeless, seeking attention, I don't know, achieve hardly anything at all and make a lot of noise about what they think they have to do which they don't like, and so it goes on.

Evening Tide ...

Well, then, well, then, indeed. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University

Evening Tide ... (e) ...

Reality for us. It's an obvious red flag. Don't you have any feelings for him ... yes ... I worry about you, neither of us can breath, the situation, it's impossible. He won't change. Hmm. Its different for me. Different, I'm not convinced by your words, to part, we don't have to go that far, I hear you. I don't know any more. You say you feel as though I have put you into second place in my life, don't you see that, I do see that sometimes I am the first person you want to talk to, out of a number of possibilities, I like the way you say that, well, its true, to be honest, I don't see what's so inglorious about that, it's not inglorious, but not that far from it. I don't know what else to say, think, what do you want me to say, then, that I'm insensitive to other people's feelings, I don't think I am, you're telling me I am, which is a little unfair considering I'm the first person you turn to in a crisis, I know that, well, let's see how things go, your stop-off point for everything you don't have an immediate answer for.

Evening Tide ...

... on yourself, you can move forward, build bridges, if you're prepared to do that, you will have your life back, little by little, grain of sand, by grain of sand, that's a lot of sifting, and building of castles in the air, let the warm rush of waves rush through. I miss you, though, terribly, I know, I see that, your warmth, I love you, I love you too. If you go away, I'll be jumping to get back to you, we will talk, I have skype, we will do skype, your husband, he has commitments, his work, is important to him, too.

Evening Tide ...
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... and you are beautiful, stop, no, I need to say these things, you don't, you are always saying I'm beautiful, so, now it's my turn to say, you don't know how wonderful it is to hear something so nice said in such a way, by you, don't, you know it's true, I acknowledge your gift of words, and I acknowledge you. Is this the kind of conversation you're used to having, with him, not really, what then, oh, mostly, we talk about how beautiful I used to be, it hurts, why on earth does it it hurt you, it only hurts if it matters, you're right, it doesn't matter, you know those people who say you used to be beautiful, including him, they're somewhat dry, are never satisfied, always looking for the next supposed thrill, and let me tell you, a lot of the young sprites you see about are in the same situation their motives can be all over the place, a person is beautiful and there is nothing to compare, comparisons don't really come into it. Young people who put themselves about sometimes end up being hurt, they may not have the experience to cope with the fallout of the end of an affair, may become sex objects against their will, if they don't understand fully what has happened to them, they may fall into a trap and that's it, their beauty too may be marred. The thing to do is to try and cope, mentally, physically, perhaps see a doctor for medication to re-balance your thinking, it's the sensible thing to do. You are lovely, thank you for saying that, I'm saying it because it's true, it's difficult to accept pain ... choosing preservation, choosing a life where it's you who makes the choices in your life, I would not fret about that, you're right.
3 Evening Tide ...

... and, oh, there goes the telephone, I'm waiting for a call, and, oh, that's the door bell, and ... hello, you, hello, you, too, coffee? Or tea, which would you prefer? She was flushed, because of me, I can only hope that may be true, was it something he said, something perhaps whispered in her ear, and she is too polite to say, you know, like an anecdote you might tell your friends, or friend, who's to say, flushed, why so my delicate one, I can't quite make her out, and I want to, I think it might help, our relationship, provide me with a little more insight, as to why, it's not brain surgery, I say that lightly because some experiences are exactly that, surgically cutting patterns that fit ourselves, others, our lives, it all 're-arranges itself by brain, life, people, it is so very much brain surgery, I need a doctorate to display my stripes, making sense of incomprehension requires mental strength, brain must be healthy to cope with fallout, green, red, getting along, right, today, perhaps not today, not while she is silently pleading for me to understand. How can she silently plead with me for anything. She looks at me, blue eyes too blue to fathom, and the only question on my lips? Where are you, why go through this pain again? If you prick me do I not indeed bleed, don't fight me, she says, and I know we need to talk. I'm here, but we can't figure this out, because its life its unconfigurable? When I was a little girl I climbed Everest, again, and again. Everest, she says, yes, I'm the friend, I say, the parent I need to consider when considering such voyages, rites of passage, you might say. Love. Really, is, and the sad thing is if a rite of passage is in the frame, there will be pain and more pain. Only if you allow it. Always remember that. Anything, anyone that's likely to cause you pain is worth no more than a trash can that is picked up and removed and as far away from healthy green hills as it's possible to be. Again, you're right. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, Social Sciences, DipGeog., Open University, Masters, MA, MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, Masters, MA, MSc., MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Evening Tide ... Sometimes, you say things that are a little too hard to take, even for me, even for you, how is that, exactly how I'm saying it, you and I differ in that you think that people you need to get along with around your career can be as rude as they like to any one else so long as they are not rude to you, but you don't even notice if someone is being outrageously rude to you, it's left to the rest of us to then pick up the pieces when you realize much later, when you have a moment to think that actually such and such were being rude, making derogatory remarks, and because the apprehensive situation you are in apropos your career, you don't really like to say something to them or you decide in the moment to let it pass but then you then raise it with me finding myself in a position of clearing their back for them so as not to upset you. While I am sensitive to the position you're in, for me, its torture, I have to pick up the pieces, you don't have to pick up the pieces, but I do, this is the point, I do pick up the pieces because you won't let the matter drop, why would I allow the matter to drop, so this is my point, if you feel at the time, when someone around your business circle are being rude to you or to someone else around you at the time, the point is, you need to resolve the situation there and then, there should not be room for manoeuvre on their part to pretend everything is fine, when plainly it quite clearly is not. Evening Tide ... ... and now I'm here, in the not too inglorious future, past tense, days, expectation, will you visit me or shall I come by, no, you choose, I want to be with you. You hesitated, we may recall, let's just see how things go ... are you seeing him again, what can I tell you that's new. Did you bathe this morning, no, I took a shower, I don't want to figure it out, it's not rocket science, it is, and the world didn't stop, and roses are the way they are, they're roses and roses seem to be everywhere, they bud, they bloom, they fade, rose-hips lose their petals, and are left with those tiny little fronds, bald roses ... I don't mind ... you can make tea, rose-hip tea, did anyone ever make tea from the stalks, and the leaves, you can burn them if you have an outdoor oven that is open, in autumn, it's unhealthy, okay, to take in the smoke, but from a little distance, again, just that nice autumn, end of season light burning, of wood that once lived and at the end of its life, burn, like incense... but, as I was saying, roses, the scent is simply blissful, as only life can be. It is, its a question of seeing the wood for the trees, woods are lush and so are you, you always do that, what, you know, I don't, you do, tell me, what, that we two agree on everything, really. We don't agree on everything, okay, you win, see. Evening Time ... ... and so are you. We''re talking. We're getting there; you see, no-one else could do that, what, this. I miss you, don't go there, we had a relationship, you always start things, I need to breath, we talk, apart from him, there's you and me. Take a deep breath, you're splitting hairs, its time, to see life from a different perspective, my perspective iis perfectly fine, its quite modern, modern traditional, we all have different perspectives to pull on in times when those who should know us best, but don't know us at all, go awry, then we question perspectives. Its time, I see the truth in what you're saying, for sure. Evening Tide ... Today, again, I thought, this may be another extra-ordinary day when no-one else featured in my life other than myself, and my own business to attend to, that done, another phase of my day may represent situations that are on-going aspects of my life, attending to pests, robbers, free-loaders, plagiarists, that's far too polite, to this website, get out, octopuses, that I may need to attend to, without having to consult with anyone, just minding my own personal business, when that has been attended to, I get on with the next phase of my life, and so my life goes on, I'm a free spirit, and I prefer it and like it that way, I speak with my mum, hi, mum, you okay, yes, fine, me too, open your windows, allow in ventilation, okay, speak soon, see you soon, it's important, I know, you know, you know, okay. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas