Writing ... for discussion in a lecture or seminar ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons, Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, Open University, studied, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Hello, a few words about writing. By now you will have learnt something about the mechanism of writing by observing and reading the texts on my website, Wordcraft 42. If you have only just started to write do remember to write from your particular experience and to write in ways that bring light on the experience you are relating. If you wish to write you need to be informed of the content you are writing about sufficiently to validate yourself as a writer. If you are someone who wishes to write it is important you develop a voice so you can address issues that are important to you and for you to address. Your voice is your key, your reference point and remember that what you say will impact on those reading your writing in ways that are relevant for them to see the world as you see it. Your lived experience will determine what you have to say, you may add to your lived experiences by exploring other worlds as you are doing here, by reading from this website, and reading from texts that will inform you on a subject or topic directly relevant to what you are writing about and learning from reading those texts. In developing your voice you are in fact approaching the writing medium in a way which is informative and relates directly to your subject. You are in fact imparting information in a collaborative process, without that collaborative process you cannot adjust to your subject in a way that is engaging and your subject may lose validity as a result. The way you write is your signature so do make sure you write well and in an informed way to ensure that what you write is interpreted correctly.  When reading the texts on this website it is important you keep an open mind as you acquire knowledge of the subjects i address in discussions. Those discussions will relate directly to the subject i wish to engage with in writing. You may be studying and its important that you appreciate that what you read in this website apart from your course texts will allow you to gain knowledge of the world around you and to learn of experiences lived by other writers. When learning the process of writing from other writers it is essential you take on board that your experiences will differ a great deal from those of the writer you are reading from. Your own writing will be informed from your own learned knowledge and interpreted into a writing experience that relates to your own lives. As a writer you develop as you learn about different subject matters you may wish to address and discuss in writing. Subjects and topics that are relevant and of interest to you and others who are interested in learning from you. It's essential you develop your own writing style and this becomes possible as you acquire knowledge and learn to interpret such knowledge in ways that are interesting on a page. Writing should be something you do as a second nature to you, and in order to facilitate and articulate your voice, you should read from textual formats as you will find here, in Wordcraft 42, and other interesting books that pique your attention and that capture your imagination. If you are a writer who is older than a student and accomplished you may be writing on subjects you wish to discuss in a lecture room or seminar room and if so you need to ensure that what you have prepared and written for discussion will engage your audience in a way that captivates their attention with the subject matter you have chosen to discuss. There are many different ways to discuss matters that are relevant and of interest to you and to your audience, this can be through phonetics, writing and speaking in ways that relate to sound and pronunciation, seeing the world phonetically is different from seeing the world through perceived experience and relating phonetically learnt experience to an audience is a way to engage their attention more succinctly. When engaging with an audience it is essential that the subject matter you choose for discussion is informed with some good illustrations, examples that tell your audience that what you are saying has validity and a basis and foundation to the truth. You may interact with your audience electronically or interactively in the lecture room or seminar, this way you know you are creating an environment that fully engages your audience and invites discussion and allows you to put questions to answer in an interactive format. Whilst discussing your subject do ensure that what you are discussing is sufficiently embursed with appropriate words that pertain specifically to the subject matter in hand and that its likely to ensure maximum attention from your audience, and that you do not stop mid-way through your discussion with a volte-face which will leave your audience wondering where your discussion is taking you, and indeed whether that which you are discussing is valid and truthful. As a writer you need to be sure that the subjects you bring to the lecture room for discussion relate to matters that are of sufficient interest to you and to your audience, your audience is there to engage with you, not impassively but actively. If your subject matter is likely to be lengthy in discussion this is a point in your seminar where you may involve your audience to participate with some interesting and relevant points that add to the discusion, you may further distinguish your discussion by inviting your audience to participate with you by addressing questions that relate to the content in discussion. It is important to observe some etiquettes that relate to matters of seminars, engage your audience not in a way that becomes irrelevant which may in fact be a fudge, your audience will read this as something that does not in fact relate to the discussion and is in fact something they will see as ill-informed and not likely to engage the attention of those whose capacity is for learning valid information, and gaining important knowledge that will add to the discussion at this moment in time, and engages you fully in the moment. Do remember that what you say in a lecture room will impact directly on your audience, they are there to engage with you in a particular instance that dds value to your mutual experience. During your seminar you are likely to reach some moot points which you may wish to address directly to your audience by involving them in the discussion to the points made at that stage of your seminar. This may also be the moment you address your audience for questions and answers, and In doing that do be aware that your audience is there to engage and to participate fully with you and that the moment of truth is where your answers relate to the subject under discussion which impress your audience in a way that changes the course of their thinking. What you say may change the course of their lives so be sure that what you say relates to the way you think and is not something that is said in a way that disengages your audience from the discussion. Bringing glibness with you is not a good point to bring to a discussion in a lecture room, your audience is there to relate to you as much as you relate to them; and by this I am not inferring that you as a writer are glib only that what you say in a lecture room has validity and is relevant to the content of the lecture under discussion. During the course of the discussion your audience should be able to state an opinion which they have a right to expect your valued participation in by answering them that leaves them with no room for doubt in what you are saying. Breaking off at important points in the discussion should not be something you exercise over your audience or they may be left with the impression that you are not a person of your word, they are there to participate and to engage with you, they are not interested in moments where you may be likely to break off at an important point in the discussion and bring an impasse to bear on what you are saying as an expert in your field of vision. If the discussion becomes fraught because your topic is unpopular of course then it becomes important to break and often, to ensure rationality of thought so that you may continue with your seminar to impart your particular vision of the world through your interpretation of events which add validity to your discussion ... to be continued ... To return to what I was saying at the beginning of the page ... if your intention is to write be sure to analyse your thinking, your ideas, and commit to copy (writing), you may to begin with when you start writing find that the confluence of your words has no flow, in that instance you should edit and re-edit your writing work so that what you say is coherent. You must try to read texts that are informative and think about the arrangement of words you see on the page, re-arranging your writing so that it flows is necessary to make sense of your writing, its like topiary, like trimming a shrub, you have to trim and trim until it takes shape. Literally, you gain the practice of writing through a process of articulation, essentially you need to be articulate in your thinking and writing so that when you commit your writing to paper your writing makes sense and that its something you are happy to present to a reader as a gift, and writing that you too appreciate reading. To become a writer you must read good illustrative texts, and you should perhaps include into your reading a very good newspaper, such as The Guardian or Telegraph or similar as well as one or two fine publications, such as Elle or Vogue, or Cosmopolitan, perhaps too, Harper's Bazaar and look for the long articles, those articles you should make a point of reading, then consider what you have read and compare the way those people, the articularians live their lives, and pay close attention to the work of the writer or interviewer and how they conduct what they see and learn to the page, you should think about in writing by comparing the way you live your life and engage with the writing, remember a lot of those writers have been professionally trained to write they may have a training background in journalism, don't let that deter you if you don't have that background, remember your voice is unique and it's a question of finely tuning or honing your instrument, your voice to say something equally interesting and with a professional edge to it because you are taking the time to consider other writers' work, reading articles from other writers allows you to appreciate the practice of reading and calibrating what you read and see as very organised language, and become used to that, those experiences are full of potential and you should take note and add that to your portfolio of reading interests, reading is important. To re-iterate, you need to edit and you need to focus in order to develop a writing style that is not perfunctory, that it retains a professional edge through the correct arrangement of words on the page through the correct appreciation of language. Your language should be complete, not superfluous, don't be florid, be concise and precise. To continue ...

Misunderstandings ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University. - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. □□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□ You know when there is a situation and a person we may care about perhaps chooses to misunderstand us in some way. Is that because its easier to choose to misunderstand a person rather than be a caring person and choose not to be obverse - not to be prejudicial - I don't know, we have to be bigger than a potential prejudice, and we have to be able to cope with situations which create misunderstandings, especially when we don't fully understand the basis of a mis-understanding, or realised indeed a misunderstanding had occurred. Misunderstandings don't work between people who are trying to understand each other. Friendship means comprehending one another in a positive way, sharing a commitment, sharing thoughts, being serious about the person we are committing to, it doesn't mean offending a person we may love, it means sharing a unity of thought which is not in any way derogatory.

Unity of thoughts which are positive contribute to our well being and is a healthy way to be. We should engender feelings that contribute towards the well-being of one and another. Misunderstandings don't work. They don't work for many fundamental reasons. We can't move forward with people we would like to move forward in life with if a misunderstanding enters the framework of the relationship. We can't have a relationship founded on suspicions and unfounded misnomers, misnomers that enter a relationship create a framework that is founded instead on untruths, we owe each other the validity founded on generosity of spirit, and kindness, and especially if we are trying to establish a nice, caring and respectful foundation for each other, if we are not used to being with the person we are trying to communicate with we have to break down barriers that may lead to mis-communication. And if we haven't actually met the person we would like to have a conversation with there is a higher than slight potential for misunderstanding and especially if we are both sensitive people very much interested to know what the other person means, I speak honestly and directly, I don't circumvent around the edges to try to say something, of course it helps if in the instance of writing as a way of communicating with a person that we have good and efficient tools to work with that do not hinder us and in fact is a medium that helps us bridge the distance of time and place. That it helps us communicate efficiently and actually brings people together who need to talk. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

A Few Words about Friendship ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙ Friendship is something we either have in our lives or we don't. There are many different kinds of friendship. There is familial friendship, where we are good friends with members of our family - and remember we are entirely different people sharing a connective bond with members of our family - the times when we spend time together, when we are likely to talk and laugh together, we find that living different lives to one another and having formed connections with other people that we can share anecdotes, based on differing opinions we have with people outside of our family circle that may appear entirely alien to our immediate family environment, and quite often we may find as a family we have entirely different senses of humour which can be very rewarding in it's own way and our own conceptual view of life as we appreciate each other's company. Those times when we spend time together, when we are likely to talk and be free to smile and laugh warmly with, family that we can depend on to support us in difficult times and other times. Its actually quite revealing in that, although we may share time with family members because we choose to, in reality terms we actually spend a very little time with each other and especially when we leave home, and also because they may have other commitments to our own, or we live some distance apart. Those are the friends whose company we seek and wish for most, in an ideal world, we miss our family, our friends, people we share a common bond with. There may be instances where we as a family have separated for many different reasons and I too have experienced those kinds of separations. If we are a family who travels, and are in wider age groups, this too may impact on our lives. When we are younger and growing up in our family, those age differences are actually quite defined and profound, but in time age resolves itself and it can be about experience as with any other separation line that defines us as a family. To continue, as we become older concerns with regards to family and family friendship change, our horizons change, through the different experiences that we have and family become the people we visit and they become the people who visit us. When they do visit there is this internal dialogue that we have with ourselves about changes or differences we notice in each other, we begin to speak and we find we have become quite formal and polite, we revert to our own language, Portuguese, in mine and my family's case, to see if any barriers become easier to negotiate with our own language, and we notice the same kinds of formality there, sometimes we can break away a little where we laugh together, but usually, because life is serious we find mostly we converse seriously with one another; we are concerned with each others' welfare, our health, advise one another about important things we must observe in life, we say to each other we must assert our rights as human beings with others who may challenge our place in this life and the world around us, we relate our experiences, we feel indignified for each other, this situation is terrible, that occurrence is not on, and so on and so forth, there are sad things to relate sometimes about people outside of our lives who we care about and we share those moments with our family and include those we wish to protect with our concern. To redefine, family and family friendship are some of the most important human bonds we have and we miss our family terribly when they are absent, and we mourn our parting when it's time to leave soon.

There are other kinds of friendships of course, outside of our own families, they may be sociable friendships, people we have met during our life time that we keep in touch with, or they are occasional friends, people we see from time to time and try to include in our lives, people that we may wish to speak with and they with us and honouring that commitment. There are friendships we may form through other people we have met in our lives, whom we have been introduced to and find we get along with. There are friendships we formulate at work, and through our work, or study, school, college, university, and we try to keep in touch with, sometimes that's not possible and everyone understands that. Friendship is something that all of us or a few of us may regard with a sense of responsibility. We feel we have a responsibility towards our friends, that we may give counselling and good advice to, if sought. There are those friends who seek our company, seek our counselling, because that is the kind of friendship we may have. Friendship can be nurturing, we like people who like us, and who are like us in similar ways who we feel a certain affinity with, and the same in return, if we feel in any way betrayed by those who appear to be on friendly terms with us, we walk away. Importantly, we form lasting friendships with those we are in a relationship with, however if life happens and we can no longer be in touch, not as often as we perhaps may like, other commitments take over our lives, this too is something to mourn, the separation can be profound and affects the kind of people we are, we break away to become someone different, however, the person we become is very often a reminder of the person that we used to be, more carefree, not so burdened with the worries we may carry in a relationship. In my experience, the best friends are friends such as one's mum, a mum we have spent a lot of time with over the years conferring on things that happen in our respective lives. Sadly, its not always possible to continue our friendship with our mum or other close parent or family because they have their own lives with concerns entirely separate from us, and we stand back to live our own lives and develop our own friendships too, but we should never forget our mum, our good parent, or brothers, in my case, sometimes we find we need each other as a family and that's fine, but we too and they must live lives that we and they made for our and their selves, it can be a little bit of a tear, but so long as we don't forget each other and keep in touch, that's the main thing, it's important to have space to evolve our own respective lives, its one of those things, we can be happy as a family and friends when life is going well, and of course we are sad if life takes a little bit of a tumble, but it really is essential we pick ourselves up and get on with life, that is absolutely crucial, we must read books, and talk with friends, maintain as happy and positive a view of ourselves and the world around us, its okay, that's life, that's the way it is. To continue ... My mum has formed friendships over the years, and especially when she returns to her country of birth, Madeira. She has friends of different ages, very young people to young people to more or less people of her own age, and older. She is a person who gets along with people well. Over the years I have become more and more reserved and circumspect about friendships. I don't like people who may disappoint me in some way through unbecoming behaviour, that doesn't work for me. We can also be in a situation with people we have lived with in a relationship, when that relationship is over, it may be a romantic relationship, you move on separately into your own respective lives to formulate other relationships and friendships, one or two you may remain friends with and one or two you may not. I have lived with two people in my life, apart from my family, they were long-term relationships - and I have been involved in a romantic relationship where we have not lived together. Sometimes you remain friends because you live nearby and can maintain a friendship, because you keep in touch. Other friendships you must part with, and that can be very painful. If you are a nice person and care about your friends it hurts when major life changes come along to challenge our lives, our perspectives, our connections to one and another, other people enter the framework and we part - its okay, that's all right, its a natural progression, and we part for very important reasons, so that we too can get on with our own lives. Friendship. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Catching up ...

Angela Maria De Noriega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open Uinversity, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil, and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ It's a little while since I posted something in writing that is a departure from all that worries me that goes on on the peripheries of my life. There are other things that concern me and that is whether my family are okay, whether they are healthy and happy, to make sure I'm fine and taking care of myself - where there are difficulties we have to try to overcome those and not become burdened by them. I have two brothers, one who is younger than me, and one who is older than me - I think about them and hope they're okay. We communicate quite well with a few words, but it's only when we meet together that we can talk, have a conversation about that which goes on on the peripheries of life and which affect me in any way, and those things that affect them. I don't really discuss in detail any particular situation to them, those things I have to entrust to the Police and other people in authority who I trust and discuss any worrying situation to them. I have a mum, my mum has a long term companion, and as I have said, i live in New Mills, Derbyshire, and they all live a distance from me, an hour and a half to two hours away, in Southport, near Lancashire. The things that worry me which I have discussed here, in my website, Wordcraft 42, I discuss with the Police, they are the third authority, outside of myself and my family, who I have to relate important matters to. Mostly I discuss matters with the Police if I feel that matters are running out of hand, I would rather the situation not escalate, but unfortunately it seems to. Any particularly difficult situations I will take steps to first of all relate the situation to an appropriate authority so that that authority will take steps to see how the situation can be resolved. I am not leaving matters to chance, they have to be related to other authorities to see what can be done to try to bring a different reality and resolution to the situation. These things exercise my mind quite a bit, and i can't just not do anything, walk away or be uninvolved, I have to try to ensure there is a resolution to situations that worry me, and I will I do my best to resolve. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide ... (f) ...

A.M. De N. Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .. when it plainly is not. That's why I am then cast into peacemaker when I don't want to peacemake for idiots in your circle of business who don't have the nous to take a step back so as not to put others at a disadvantage, or, on the spot, I am not others, I am the boss, well then, be more boss like, don't leave it to me to carry your problems, which is what it is, you don't have to be there, I am there because you ask me to be there, there is no need to beat about the bush on that one, I like you being there, yours is the face, the presence of reason, in my life, other than my husband and my children. So, make that point to your circle, because I don't appreciate being run over by any of your minions, they're not my my minions, but I see what you mean, thank you, I will have to speak to them, if you feel put upon or disregarded in any way I will have words with them. The problem is none of those people that spend their time running around you are actually trained to do the job they have been given to do, they want to short-cut to what they think is the top of the pile, and only achieve creating a nuisance. They run around getting in the way of people's feet, perhaps they don't mean to, I don't know, achieve hardly anything at all and make a lot of noise about what they think they have to do which they don't like, and so it goes on.

Evening Tide ...

Well, then, well, then, indeed. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide ... (f) ...

... when it plainly is not. That's why I am then cast into peacemaker when I don't want to peacemake for idiots in your circle of business who don't have the nous to take a step back so as not to put others at a disadvantage or, on the spot, I am not others, I am the boss, well then, be more boss like, don't leave it to me to carry your problems, which is what it is, you don't have to be there, I am there because you ask me to be there, there is no need to beat about the bush on that one, I like you being there, yours is the face, the presence of reason, in my life, other than my husband and my children. So, make that point to your circle, because I don't appreciate being run over by any of your minions, they're not my minions, but I see what you mean, thank you, I will have to speak to them, if you feel put upon or disregarded in any way I will have words with them. The problem is none of those people that spend their time running around you are actually trained to do the job they have been given to do, they want to short-cut to what they think is the top of the pile, and only achieve creating a nuisance. They run around getting in the way of people's feet, perhaps, they don't mean to, they do mean to, they run around and around in circles blinding others about the fact they are purposeless, seeking attention, I don't know, achieve hardly anything at all and make a lot of noise about what they think they have to do which they don't like, and so it goes on.

Evening Tide ...

Well, then, well, then, indeed. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University

Evening Tide ... (e) ...

Reality for us. It's an obvious red flag. Don't you have any feelings for him ... yes ... I worry about you, neither of us can breath, the situation, it's impossible. He won't change. Hmm. Its different for me. Different, I'm not convinced by your words, to part, we don't have to go that far, I hear you. I don't know any more. You say you feel as though I have put you into second place in my life, don't you see that, I do see that sometimes I am the first person you want to talk to, out of a number of possibilities, I like the way you say that, well, its true, to be honest, I don't see what's so inglorious about that, it's not inglorious, but not that far from it. I don't know what else to say, think, what do you want me to say, then, that I'm insensitive to other people's feelings, I don't think I am, you're telling me I am, which is a little unfair considering I'm the first person you turn to in a crisis, I know that, well, let's see how things go, your stop-off point for everything you don't have an immediate answer for.

Evening Tide ...

... on yourself, you can move forward, build bridges, if you're prepared to do that, you will have your life back, little by little, grain of sand, by grain of sand, that's a lot of sifting, and building of castles in the air, let the warm rush of waves rush through. I miss you, though, terribly, I know, I see that, your warmth, I love you, I love you too. If you go away, I'll be jumping to get back to you, we will talk, I have skype, we will do skype, your husband, he has commitments, his work, is important to him, too.

Evening Tide ...
0
... and you are beautiful, stop, no, I need to say these things, you don't, you are always saying I'm beautiful, so, now it's my turn to say, you don't know how wonderful it is to hear something so nice said in such a way, by you, don't, you know it's true, I acknowledge your gift of words, and I acknowledge you. Is this the kind of conversation you're used to having, with him, not really, what then, oh, mostly, we talk about how beautiful I used to be, it hurts, why on earth does it it hurt you, it only hurts if it matters, you're right, it doesn't matter, you know those people who say you used to be beautiful, including him, they're somewhat dry, are never satisfied, always looking for the next supposed thrill, and let me tell you, a lot of the young sprites you see about are in the same situation their motives can be all over the place, a person is beautiful and there is nothing to compare, comparisons don't really come into it. Young people who put themselves about sometimes end up being hurt, they may not have the experience to cope with the fallout of the end of an affair, may become sex objects against their will, if they don't understand fully what has happened to them, they may fall into a trap and that's it, their beauty too may be marred. The thing to do is to try and cope, mentally, physically, perhaps see a doctor for medication to re-balance your thinking, it's the sensible thing to do. You are lovely, thank you for saying that, I'm saying it because it's true, it's difficult to accept pain ... choosing preservation, choosing a life where it's you who makes the choices in your life, I would not fret about that, you're right.
3 Evening Tide ...

... and, oh, there goes the telephone, I'm waiting for a call, and, oh, that's the door bell, and ... hello, you, hello, you, too, coffee? Or tea, which would you prefer? She was flushed, because of me, I can only hope that may be true, was it something he said, something perhaps whispered in her ear, and she is too polite to say, you know, like an anecdote you might tell your friends, or friend, who's to say, flushed, why so my delicate one, I can't quite make her out, and I want to, I think it might help, our relationship, provide me with a little more insight, as to why, it's not brain surgery, I say that lightly because some experiences are exactly that, surgically cutting patterns that fit ourselves, others, our lives, it all 're-arranges itself by brain, life, people, it is so very much brain surgery, I need a doctorate to display my stripes, making sense of incomprehension requires mental strength, brain must be healthy to cope with fallout, green, red, getting along, right, today, perhaps not today, not while she is silently pleading for me to understand. How can she silently plead with me for anything. She looks at me, blue eyes too blue to fathom, and the only question on my lips? Where are you, why go through this pain again? If you prick me do I not indeed bleed, don't fight me, she says, and I know we need to talk. I'm here, but we can't figure this out, because its life its unconfigurable? When I was a little girl I climbed Everest, again, and again. Everest, she says, yes, I'm the friend, I say, the parent I need to consider when considering such voyages, rites of passage, you might say. Love. Really, is, and the sad thing is if a rite of passage is in the frame, there will be pain and more pain. Only if you allow it. Always remember that. Anything, anyone that's likely to cause you pain is worth no more than a trash can that is picked up and removed and as far away from healthy green hills as it's possible to be. Again, you're right. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, Social Sciences, DipGeog., Open University, Masters, MA, MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, Masters, MA, MSc., MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Evening Tide ... Sometimes, you say things that are a little too hard to take, even for me, even for you, how is that, exactly how I'm saying it, you and I differ in that you think that people you need to get along with around your career can be as rude as they like to any one else so long as they are not rude to you, but you don't even notice if someone is being outrageously rude to you, it's left to the rest of us to then pick up the pieces when you realize much later, when you have a moment to think that actually such and such were being rude, making derogatory remarks, and because the apprehensive situation you are in apropos your career, you don't really like to say something to them or you decide in the moment to let it pass but then you then raise it with me finding myself in a position of clearing their back for them so as not to upset you. While I am sensitive to the position you're in, for me, its torture, I have to pick up the pieces, you don't have to pick up the pieces, but I do, this is the point, I do pick up the pieces because you won't let the matter drop, why would I allow the matter to drop, so this is my point, if you feel at the time, when someone around your business circle are being rude to you or to someone else around you at the time, the point is, you need to resolve the situation there and then, there should not be room for manoeuvre on their part to pretend everything is fine, when plainly it quite clearly is not. Evening Tide ... ... and now I'm here, in the not too inglorious future, past tense, days, expectation, will you visit me or shall I come by, no, you choose, I want to be with you. You hesitated, we may recall, let's just see how things go ... are you seeing him again, what can I tell you that's new. Did you bathe this morning, no, I took a shower, I don't want to figure it out, it's not rocket science, it is, and the world didn't stop, and roses are the way they are, they're roses and roses seem to be everywhere, they bud, they bloom, they fade, rose-hips lose their petals, and are left with those tiny little fronds, bald roses ... I don't mind ... you can make tea, rose-hip tea, did anyone ever make tea from the stalks, and the leaves, you can burn them if you have an outdoor oven that is open, in autumn, it's unhealthy, okay, to take in the smoke, but from a little distance, again, just that nice autumn, end of season light burning, of wood that once lived and at the end of its life, burn, like incense... but, as I was saying, roses, the scent is simply blissful, as only life can be. It is, its a question of seeing the wood for the trees, woods are lush and so are you, you always do that, what, you know, I don't, you do, tell me, what, that we two agree on everything, really. We don't agree on everything, okay, you win, see. Evening Time ... ... and so are you. We''re talking. We're getting there; you see, no-one else could do that, what, this. I miss you, don't go there, we had a relationship, you always start things, I need to breath, we talk, apart from him, there's you and me. Take a deep breath, you're splitting hairs, its time, to see life from a different perspective, my perspective iis perfectly fine, its quite modern, modern traditional, we all have different perspectives to pull on in times when those who should know us best, but don't know us at all, go awry, then we question perspectives. Its time, I see the truth in what you're saying, for sure. Evening Tide ... Today, again, I thought, this may be another extra-ordinary day when no-one else featured in my life other than myself, and my own business to attend to, that done, another phase of my day may represent situations that are on-going aspects of my life, attending to pests, robbers, free-loaders, plagiarists, that's far too polite, to this website, get out, octopuses, that I may need to attend to, without having to consult with anyone, just minding my own personal business, when that has been attended to, I get on with the next phase of my life, and so my life goes on, I'm a free spirit, and I prefer it and like it that way, I speak with my mum, hi, mum, you okay, yes, fine, me too, open your windows, allow in ventilation, okay, speak soon, see you soon, it's important, I know, you know, you know, okay. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide ... (d) ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University, MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. Its always, we will see, I know, but, that's how it is, we have to see how things go, or to be academic, we have to see how our lives develop, do you really think we could make a go of things, have a life together, have our home just the way we like it ... we could holiday, the way we used to, before nonsense entered our lives, the two of us, perhaps, not abroad at first, nice places, in England or Britain, what, you know, the UK, oh, have fun, I know, we need to take each other seriously, of course, look at me, you're smiling, I know, you're smiling, oh, am I, yeah, but, we do, I know, we always have, let the other know of developments, developments, yeah, I know what you mean, no, you know, in our respective lives, academically, I see, do you, oh, okay, hmm, hold nothing back, no, no, a relationship is not a relationship unless honesty becomes the prop and mainstay of our lives, our entire existence, hmm, entirely, yeah, I know, I know you do, this conversation, hey, we're talking, that's something, it sure is ... you know why you're anxious, you think I'm anxious, a little, I didn't know that, and lonely, you think I'm lonely, well, yeah, okay, ... it's the heartache that you're left with that stays with you the most, you learn all this stuff at college, university, oh, not really, and it seems to me you are always seeking thrills, I didn't know that, you did, you do, and you know they're addictive, I didn't know that, I need to go study, hmm, I know that now, you needed to exercise some control over your emotions, that so, not have your heart and lungs dragged out of you at every turn, does sound awful, hmm, yes. Don't you see that, what I see is that I don't think you would be happy only with me, where did that come from, university, I would be, are you sure, because i could always go back to college, to be more academic, you are special, you think so, and you are beautiful ...

Evening Tide ...
I feel a little embarrassed, don't, don't be embarrassed, why would you be embarrassed, life is too short for embarrassments of any kind, I talk too much, you don't, and even if you did I don't see that as a failing, but in a different context, you talk, its all rather interesting, and it opens up debate, the moment you start asking questions, that brings people in, they have their own personal stories they want to share, I actually like talking to and with people, I love that bond, it's immediate, it reconciles differences to such an extent there are no differences after a while, and you start to empathise, we tell our stories, and we understand. Evening Tide ... You mean that, of course, why would I not, of course you're being sincere, could you be anything else, I'm astounded as to how well we're getting along, here, considering all the fracas that went on, apropos us moving in together for a while, when was anything worthwhile ever easy to accomplish, no, we must pay the price of our success and that is a little pain along the way, a little pain, please don't dismiss pain as anything little, to me there is nothing little about pain,I'm sorry, my God, I say not so, but, we can both be right, in this instance I think it's fair to say we are both to blame in equal portion, are you serious, for our own misgivings, what are you saying, which initially beset our friendship, initially, beset, are we back to academics, but, it's very much as they say, wait a minute, no pain, no gain, what, it sounds almost trite to say it, trite, but it saves us being overwhelmed, kidding me, by the changes we experienced initially, that's two words, same words, academically, and now, we are free to proceed and be ourselves, Is this you, I don't know, is this you, comfortable in each other's company. Don't you agree, you must agree. Evening Tide ... To life, happiness, New York. Oh, that takes me back. My mind is clear. We live our lives. Possibilities, opportunities ... where do you go to my lovely, I don't really like that song ... tra la la, tra la la, see what I mean, it's a fallacy you know, she wasn't actually alone, oh, where is this going, no, no. She was sleeping, on a bed of petals, rose petals, what other kind are there, the heady scent of wild roses in bloom, he touched her, ran the petals over her skin, my God, with such delicacy, she was alive, the scent was real ... is it still the same song, listen ... he ascended as by a ladder, much safer than a rope, yep, I thought rope, then I changed it, and anyway, as by a ladder into the room where she slept her peaceful sleep, dreaming she was wide awake, much safer to be in one's bed merely dreaming, amen, I remember thinking when I heard the song, oh, no, a gentle temperance, a certain devotion, an echo in time, into the future, very poetic, and she loved him, did he love her, I don't know, and now ... I hear you. And, then, we will see ... it's the way forward, no more dreaming, only sweet scented roses, I love roses, the kind to put in a vase, in water, no thorns, oh, I know, and a new life ... can it be possible, to start again, start anew, life on a wing of a dove. Start the way we mean to go on. And when we both go somewhere there will be nonsense, ooh, I'm serious, to cope with, Its not nonsense, it's my life, but it's not mine, and that's why he is there. To commute the nonsense that you don't like? That's how it is. I like to live a normal life, and sometimes with me there are extra-ordinary times, I'm not into that, it's nonsense, it's my work, I don't like it, and it changes you, it has an impact on who you are as a person, afterwards you are distant, is that, really, yes, as though you've been carried away by all the nonsense, it's not nonsense, but it is. Sometimes. Who are we talking about, here, people, you know, people, you know how they are. Suppositions, hmm, some people act on their suppositions, it's what the rest of us see, it's not that interesting, I know, they're not that interesting, I know. Evening Tide ... ... Not necessarily in emotional bonding, I still gave him some of the best of me, but not all of you, people do, I work intimately, and intensively with people, sounds like a blast, seriously, I can't quarter up, something has to give, something has given, marriage, it's terrible, it's really what some people would say is an empty shell, that's terrible, people we love are not empty shells, where do those sayings originate, I don't know, a shell that is empty, that's so sad, and in the meantime what happens to the life that was inside the shell, well, exactly, it's sad, it is, it really is, I'm lonely, why, lonely, what do you mean, don't you get lonely, no, I don't, I'm happiest in my own company, would you be happy if I stayed out late, stayed the night away, and much of the following day too, and the next, make a point not to do that, I never heard anything as disconcerting, and this is my point. I know. If you can forgive those things, you can, you think so, you could try, I would do my best, it's not negotiable, really, see, what if that means leaving you, I don't know then, I understand you should spend time with your family, of course, you are an understanding person, doesn't work otherwise, you cannot be circumspect with friendship. Evening Tide ... That, that somehow entitles them to approach you, you hardly at all notice the inappropriate nature of the circumstances you're in. You know, I'm not so gullible as you think, I don't think you're gullible, I know what you're saying, there is truth in what you say. Let's change the subject, I'll try to think about things in a different way, I'm looking out for you, where were you when I was growing up, at the bottom of your garden, no doubt being the kind fairy you were wishing for, but my fairy was there all along, my desire to learn, about life, through books, I wasn't much into anything outside of books, I loved my family, my life, that's all that mattered, about lots of different things, you learn a lot by observation, people, the kind of people that are in books and outside of books, you become arrested, when you're young, certainly, by all the facts you're supposed to take in and learn, that after a while you start to really look at people, again, you find some unusual examples on television, when television works, you can only take in a little of that at a time, and you look at those things and its more knowledge. Evening Tide ... In that moment of weakness I fell, treacherously. But, now you're free, I'm well, I have no wish to 're-visit pain, I don't know what to say, then don't say anything, I'm sorry. Evening Tide ... You are always there for me and that's what I require in a friend. I was so impatient to meet with you, I know, I was the same. I love you, I love you, too. Now we understand each other well. Evening Tide. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Evening Tide cont ... (b) ...

Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Open University, DipGeog., Open University - MLit., Literature, studied, Open University MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University I miss you, you know, I really do, I miss you, then why don't you move in with me, I may just do that, really, yes, would you be happy just with me, though, I know, we''ll see.

Evening Tide cont ... (c) ...

I see how things may be for you, how you may interpret situations. I guess your perspective is of a person looking in from the outside of the circle, I have that ability, you do, I have to, I have to have eyes on the back of my head, I''ve become adept in the art of surveillance without appearing to be surveying, it's a necessity in my business. What else is essential for you to survive the business you're In. Fortitude, magnanimity, a particular way of assessing difficult situations without losing my cool, my equilibrium, but if you feel betrayed by someone how do you manage that. I guess with a certain amount of aplomb, it's essential. Where do we fit in ... as we are, we touch base, keep in touch, be patient with one another, understand each other's requirements, bring honesty, those are important pathways to maintaining a good relationship with someone we care about and don't wish to lose in a hurry, be good friends to each other, that's how. I remember when I first met you, you were this very nice sincere person, I knew we would get along just fine, I remember thinking when we first met, we two are going to be good friends, my instinct was to love you on the spot, well, that's fine with me. I love your honesty, I love more your encouraging support, it is second to none, my mum comes very much close to that, the way you encourage me, it makes me feel young and that I have everything to live for. Thank you for coming into my life just as I ached for a dear friend like you. Evening Tide ... People always say that, what do they say, that things are different when the boot is on the other foot, and always sunshine on their very green garden, and rosy coloured spectacles to be worn with care, a mantle of fur without the pain. I love you ... we're spending time together, like we're spending time apart, it's all so simple for you. I have experience on my side, but you're always saying I have more sense than you, but, seriously, just for a moment, let us be spontaneous, I would rather remain a little quiet. This is bliss, us, talking and him ... sitting, over there, thinking, later we water the garden, he to the lawn and trees, me to the flowers, everything in bloom, and that's how it is, on and anon. Life, by garden, love by chance, we meet someone we think we may like, luck on our side, it happens, you really think, yes, don't you, of course, why would I not, you've been disappointed in love, but I need not be tragic about it, the way I see things is that falling in love is merely an illness you catch when feeling at a low ebb, nothing more than that and if you meet a person who also catches you at a weak moment, it's that finite thing, an illness begins and if you're particularly unlucky you act on it, if you're lucky you won't. If you're very lucky you will walk away unscathed, and you will instead proceed to live your life free from unhealthy encumbrances of the heart, body, your emotions intact, peaceful as though you had never been caught off guard in that way at all. Evening Tide ... It is all a question of chance. A chance meeting, a half meeting at first, then the whole thing escalates into something quite unfathomable, you can't stop, you are on that runaway train called love, only it's love gone crazy, there is a thirst you have for each other only the two of you can quench, like a fever that's taken a grip, you drink water to quench your thirst, but your mouth and throat remain parched, so it is with love, what to do, you glow like a glow worm, and you wish the whole thing would stop so you can go back to being yourself again, no encumbrances of the heart or mind, nothing to hold you back, rid the fever, be happy to return to coolness instead. And most importantly, reduce the negativity that's entered your life to nothing by doing everything to block it and ignore it. Ifanyone is reading my website and Evening Tide in particular and you are a negative force, take the message and leave, you're not wanted here, and don't enter this ways again. All right. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas

Age ... what it means ...

I'm going to write about age and what it means when we say the word older to define perhaps a quirk of nature in someone we haven't met and apply the word to, some people become immediately offended with certain words but that is more to do with their own discriminatory view on life than anything else. A child can be deemed to be young and old depending on their experiences of life, people, situations they may find themselves in, that doesn't mean taking advantage of children or corrupting them, growing a tough patina requires mental strength and good physical health, and experiences that relate to children with other children, that is what is essential to cope with school as with life, that's the foundation, and a good family relationship, and it may be a tough school environment that child is entering and that child has to be able to age enough to cope with the demands life places on them in those situations; or it may be a normal school environment where teachers and pupils understand the roles each have to play as they become older. So, here already we have found one or two definitions for the word age, and what it means to age. However, we have to be realistic as adults about what it means to age the best way is gracefully of course, and it helps to have the mental agility to be able to make important decisions as people age and become older. It is true that people grow or evolve as human beings as they become older not only physically but mentally, and that's important to sustain them going forward into their lives. So, people need to know their boundaries with regards to ageing. Another way to look at this is, for instance, if people start to cross-negotiate with others of a different age group, a different generation to theirs, they themselves become confused because the dialect is different, it's like visiting a country people don't know very well, they speak a different language, culturally and literally, and are themselves confu-sing because of the mixed messages they are sending to people in their age generation community of olders, or youngers, because they cannot appropriately cross reference one or other to make sense of their lives, not really. The ageing process has many parallels - and as people age it's important to understand that what they do to their bodies has an implication on the way they look and live their lives. As soon as people age-negotiate they become burdened or bogged down with the instructions manual that is the reality of communicating and living with the older generation from the younger generation perspective. They cannot cross-reference because their realities are different, they are as disparate to one and the other as Mars is to Earth, like a person who has an academic education and another person who doesn't, that in itself can be problematic in any relationship because the most fundamental importance in any relationship is missing, that of understanding one another, which may or may not be the case, if people do not fully understand one another at least intellectually, the experience remains static and they cannot move forward. If the experience is positive, for those people who fall away from those parallels, one way to reduce those differences is to introduce a communicating tool that facilitates a way forward for those who have those kinds of experiences, the most obvious route to applying such a tool is through education and gaining experience through knowledge which is a learning process and a work in progress for most people. Moving forward, what people put on their bodies has an implication on the ageing process. Make up, do you wear any, I don't, can affect the ways a skin ages - if it is clogged up and blocked up with make up skin which is a living organ cannot renew properly, because it's too busy eating away at the make-up for toxins to evacuate, and that makes the skin sluggish and it loses it's vitality. Drinking alcohol, for me, minimum, reduces oxygen to the brain, and has an effect on ageing for all the obvious reasons - do you stay up late, I don't, usually, people age more quickly if they are not resting for long enough either for mental assiduity to live life healthilly and for skin to work through a rejuvenating procedure, as well as everything else about your body, not just your skin, but for the purpose of facilitating ways to explain our subject with some good examples, then skin is good to illustrate time essential to rest and to refresh because its what we see, it's what's on show. What we don't see is a different story, and once burned twice shy at least for the wise and that analogy may be applied as often its necessary to do so.  Moving on, being sexually active or sexually permissive is not good for the ageing process. In fact, people can speed up death and they can look deathly if they are overly promiscuous because of the strain they are putting on their body, in particular, the heart and brain, which need rest, and affects mentally and physically those coping mechanisms which will disappear because of the pressures of sexual permissivness, it is abuse of self and of those they are sexually over-active with, as they turn that tourniquet, bash away at that shrew, as in Shakespeare, the shrew being themselves, the slut they cannot stand or beat off as they persist with their continual inappropriate sexual activities and slavish mores. It is a fallacy to say that sex keeps people young, that the exercise of sex delivers well-being, not so, it is difficult to see well-being generated out of those activities not only because of body abuse and those implications of but also chemical reactions in the body and serotonin a compound to be found in the blood, let us say, that are also inhibitors and work by transference of impulses from one nerve to another and helps create arousal, but arousal is only there for so long, and especially if sexual activity happens often, there is only so much serotonin the body can produce which affect those carriers; the body is not a fountainous, over-flowing cup of sexual compounds to be drank from at the click of the fingers and reality, the reality of non-transference of those factors which impinges on other factors that are necessary for arousal to occur, for instance, can cause depression and other dysfunctions in the body if those realities become prohibitive. So, let us not run away from the facts and realities of a promiscuous and thereby, abusive, sexual life. Most adults have experienced sex at some point in their lives, and most adults know that sex is merely an adjunct to their relationships, if sex falls away from that adjunct and becomes a runaway train, where sex is all there is to their lives that in itself is an illness and a difficult illness to cure and an infringing habit to break. Seeking thrills that are promiscuous thrills is also an illness too far. Those are areas of life I am not engaged in or wish to engage in. Keep the permissive society somewhere else, as far away from ordinary people's realities and my reality as it's possible to be. To continue, people require to stay in their own age appropriate group in relationships that are romantic or in any way professional because as soon as they step out of that age appropriate group they are posing some serious questions with regard to age and to themselves, who they are as people, what they become, because as soon as they age-negotiate, go outside of their age group, as I have said, that impermeable state of adolescence Ill fitted to those of mature years in experience, say, no-one is gaining any favours from projected experience, it's indefinable territory that's already been lived by the older generation, and its almost like an obfuscation takes place, where youth jump the age gap, without the relevant experience to handle the fall out of such obfuscations. Adolescents have not lived enough to inhabit projected experience, as I have said, and that can create an imbalance which sends the wrong message to others about their mentality, their sexuality, their physicality, and what they're saying to their family and friends about that. The only possible acceptable age appropriate group that may differentiate with one another is family, the family set-up has it's own dynamic, where there is that dichotomy in age difference and everyone in the family understand their age specific roles within that dynamic and within that family partnership, the dynamics are direct and succinct and age appropriate. Some adolescents go outside of that age appropriate remit, they confuse the situation, an inappropriate link or pattern starts to emerge or become established where adolescents are actually engaging with other people's grandmas and grandpas and even third generation grands, which really is not a healthy or in any way appropriate situation to be conducted by - and vice versa, where grand-children are looked upon as sexual objects by that older community or, again, vice versa, because that is what that older community in those specific environments see in those who are younger, and, worryingly by the younger community if they are sexualised, and those situations in themselves are inappropriate, those altered situations are not really appropriate age groups to engage with if they are outside of that family dynamic. Those are defined situations that are outside of the family group dynamic. If for reasons already explained the family dynamic does not work, it also creates a dysfunction in your family / friends relationships. Age appropriate groups are appropriate when it is the same age group, in social as in other interactive situations. It is immediately obvious and they stand out like a sore thumb when you see people shuffling about or preening around as a sixty-year old around a twenty or thirty-year old, for instance, for the purposes of propriety we won't go lower than twenty or thirty, any more or less defferentials than those - and, age is not maturity when we are looking at youth, youth by nature are inexperienced and don't carry the necesssry knowledge to make informed decisions, they will more likely be coerced into situations by those who are experienced and do carry a certain amount of knowledge which in the wrong hands or the wrong brain can cause chaos for all concerned - and it really is Illegal and not something to be displayed in normal polite society. The disconnect between those involved in age-inappropriate situations is mammoth - both in situations where those who are not age appropriate become involved and it really is a definition of old age carrying on with youth - it distances families because neither age group is being normal or loyal or correct or respectful or in any way thoughtful to their family group, if the family group encourage age-negotiations between the parties, and again, that too is likely to be illegal and as I said, going beyond the pale, their friends, people in different age groups that are young become uncomfortable as they see their potential girlfriend or boyfriend or friends engaging with people from the older community, and the older community inveigling youth space, which no-one understands and certainly not those who are involved who end up that way, and i cannot see any light at the end of that tunnel, really, and once the honeymoon period is over, and those involved are all at sea, and, hello, its back to school, and the realities of living with grandpa, or indeed, grandma, or carrying of grand-kids becomes an experience too far. It Is difficult to see those kinds of relationships having longevity, because of the pronounced differentiation in age or experience. It is completely inappropriate, those kinds of relationship are age disqualifies - nobody, ideally, wishes to confuse the two. Angela Maria De Nobrega Freitas, BSc Hons., Social Sciences, Open University, DipGeog., Open University Masters, MA, MLit., Literature, studied, Open University Masters, MA, MSc., MPhil., and Playwriting, studied, Birmingham University. ***************************************************************************